Lost in the river bottom

Maybe you're thinking I got lost over the Christmas holiday after our wild night of light gawking in Austin. I promise, I'm still existing on the face of this earth. It is so easy to get lost at the farm. We spent our days around Christmas at my sisters and then the day after Christmas came to Blackacre to spend a week sleeping in the cabin, taking walks to the Guadelupe and doing projects with my mom and dad. I've decided that my biggest achievement of 2007 is burning out a huge tree stump. Dad knew I would love that job so he saved it for me. Let's not talk about what that might say about me :)
I know I always write the same things about the farm but it's always true...I truly get my 'fix' in being in this place. The sounds, the sights and the answers I seem to find here. I know it's because all the other junk is out of my way and I can clearly hear what God has to say to me.
Anyway, I hope you all had a meaningful Christmas and that 2008 is full of growth, peace and love.

Christmas Lights of Austin

Well, here we all are...Mom's copying down a recipe, Rebekah's replying to email, Dad is watching a football game, Alvaro is napping (shocker!) and I'm wanting to ice the cutout cookies but everyone is busy and I have to wait for them because they want to help. Isn't that always the way with me? I'm ready to get stuff done RIGHT NOW, always on a schedule to get the next thing done...why can't I just be relaxed and not care if there are a couple of minutes of down time?

In a previous post I said that we were going to see the 37 1/2 street lights and so we did last night. The temperature plunged to 40 or so with a wind that wouldn't let my dad keep his cap on. We decided to walk the street rather than drive it so that we could take advantage of the offers from the homeowners who offered us to come into the back yard and get some hot chocolate...I do love this town! The first house had a 10 foot dinosaur made of chicken wire and foil with a strobe light in it's mouth. The back yard was complete with two toilets with yellow lights in the bowl. Almost every resident of the street had some amazing, truly tacky and sometimes even tasteless display. Lights, beer cans as ornaments, a garland made of Jack Daniels bottles, a sock monkey nativity (wow!) and even a dead marlin over some guys front door that had CDs for scales. ah...Austin. I guess my favorite was this cycle covered in lights. The wheels even turned. All the time we were walking, people talked to each other even though we didn't know each other. People let strangers help their kids over strands of lights in order to get a picture. I had one of those most embarrassing moments when in my excitement over people just loving people, I walked up to someone's house and almost walked in when my sister asked a guy on the porch if everyone is invited in he said, "no sorry, this is a private party". ooops :) We all had a good laugh and there was no harm done. I just kept walking with my free chi tea to see what political statement in lights I might see next.

Citizen Cabal

Last Thursday (and apparently ever since seeing as I'm still thinking about it hard enough to blog about it), the Cabal family had a HUGE reason to celebrate. Alvaro went to his scheduled United States citizenship exam and passed with a grade of 100%. He and I were under the impression that we would have to wait until March for the next swearing in ceremony. But lo and behold, he was told there would be a ceremony that afternoon and would he like to attend. So he calls me to see if I can leave work at 1:30 to go with him. His concern was that we have a list of about 25 people who have been telling us for two years that a big highlight in their life would be if they could attend Alvaro's citizenship ceremony. But since most of Alvaro's family are still in Colombia, we decided to attend the ceremony immediately so he could leave the country with his US passport if he needed to make an emergency trip to Colombia.

I figured it would be like running cattle through a line to get your certificate and then while everyone's children were running around Alvaro would say his oath of citizenship and then we'd all herd out. But boy was I wrong! It was an hour long ceremony in which I exhausted at least 6 tissues. A lady sitting in front of us, probably in her 80s, was so touched by the experience that I decided to shed a few tears of joy for her too.

Alvaro has been waiting to realize this dream since he was a young boy. He told his parents early on that he would be a United States citizen and he hasn't stopped his patient waiting through all the fingerprinting, documents and interviews since that time. Congratulations to my sweet husband and his love for both cultures making him who he is. We are richer because of our adoption of each other's countries and cultures.

Go tinkle - get a sticker

This morning I had a play date with two of my favorite little boys. A good friend had me over for coffee, reading and playing time with her twin boys. We had lots of fun singing, playing trains, wrestling, laughing and just being silly which is their specialty. They are amazing and I just love them to death! Just before I left for the church I announced that I had to go to the bathroom first. As I closed the door (and locked it cuz I knew I would have visitors if I didn't) I heard them running through the house yelling, "Mommy, mommy, Miss Rachel needs a sticker!!!!" Apparently at their house going to the bathroom all by yourself means you get a sticker. Actually I got two stickers - one from each cutie pie.

When I'm visiting with these two boys, I cannot get over the wonder in which they see everything. Everything seems to be analyzed as they go through the day. A comment is made about everything that happens. Seems to me that most children I encounter aren't impressed with much. They have so many toys that beep and buzz that nothing is 'amazing' to them anymore. It's as refreshing as a glass of lemonade in Houston in August to see two children so enthralled with everything around them.

I think of all the children I know and the joy they are in our lives. We should all spend time with children to remind ourselves of the wonder we may have lost in our daily lives. We should all make mental comments about what we experience.

Advent Calendar - Part II

In a recent post I talked about my sister Rebekah and I taking turns each day in pining the ornaments to the advent calendar. I can't believe I have a picture of it but here it is. Mom made it in the '70s along with the three kings wall hangings. Weren't all Christmas decorations made of felt in the 1970s?

As Christmas Eve and Christmas Day inch ever closer, I'm getting more and more excited for the celebrations, times of worship, times of quiet reflection along with the laughter that being with family brings.

I also think about a girl I met about 6 months ago. She is an Iraqi veteran. She is a young girl who since her return to the US, she has lived in shelters due to the red tape and snail like process of getting her disability checks. She told me yesterday that the greatest gift she could have received is the the new apartment she moved into on Friday and the approval of the GI Bill which has allowed her to enroll in college. She begins classes in January. She doesn't have family support but our church staff was able to find a fun family for her to spend Christmas with this year. In your bedtime prayers tonight, please thank God for the love shown my new friend as she continues her path back to a life that every human being deserves. One with purpose, food to eat, clothes to wear and the ability to listen to where God wants us to point the frontside of our body and proceed.

A Worship Experience

24 hours ago I was sitting in our sanctuary looking at the scene you see in this photo. It was a service of nine lessons and carols led by our ministers, the chancel choir and orchestra. Christmas lights, traditional chrismons on the trees, poinsettias, people of all ages worshiping around me....these are the moments of Christmas that give me an environment for worship, meditation, prayer and thankfulness. This morning it's about the work: tallying up the total worship attendants from yesterday (1,183), preparring for the baptism coming up next Sunday and corresponding with those who visited with us here at the church yesterday. But ahhhhh...yesterday...that is where my heart needs to stay all week. As those around me run, scream and claw their way through Macy's, I will strive to keep my heart and eyes on the Child and all that He teaches us no matter where we are.

What in the Hee Haw...two blog entrees in one day?!?!?

Okay, so my sister says, "What in the Hee Haw" which makes me giggle every time. I've been thinking about my sister a lot lately. Probably because for the first time she gets to host our family for Christmas in Austin! Mom, Dad, Alvaro and I will arrive four days before Christmas and we get to have the grand tour of Austin at Christmas...the lights at the capital, the one street with all the really gaudy but wonderful decorations and lights, the warmth of her cottage style house and her cooking. The night before Thanksgiving, Alvaro and I went to pick her up on the way to Blackacre. We decided to spend the night and in the morning she made me this oatmeal that should be entered in the dang State Fair. That was some life changing oatmeal! I think it made me more spiritual.

This is the first year that we, as a family, won't spend Christmas in the home where we grew up. Mom and Dad have moved to their new property near the farm and tradition is changing. Do those two words go together? Tradition and Changing? As I get older and our lives change and progress, I'm learning that our real tradition all along has been 'being together'...not where we are but who we love, who we cherish and what our attitudes are. I have always characterized myself as being adverse to change...my German head is really hard! But in the small changes that have happened in the last ten years or so, I'm now assured that I'm not as adverse as I thought. And this is a HUGE revelation to me. Does this mean I could be growing? Am I becomeing more flexible? Horrors!!!! I think I am. What a wonderful thing! All that meditation (not medication), all that prayer...it's working by golly! Maybe I'll get freaky and suggest a new side dish for Christmas dinner!!! Okay, let's not get crazy!

I'm having fun keeping up with my favorite blogs (please click on them to the right) and listening to what others are saying about Christmas traditions. Comment on what yours are. Since I'm in the growing mood, I may adopt yours.

It's just not Christmas without the gifts!!!

Gimme, gimme, gimme...buy buy buy...charge charge charge! Wow, I'm overwhelmed with the insistance to obtain, purchase, GET!

In looking at the Christmas story in an attempt to get the dirt and sludge off modern day Christmas, I started look at the gifts listed in scripture. The first gift was of Spirit: uncondintional Love. The next gift came from a teenager named Mary. Her Christmas present was selflessness, the complete surrender of ego and will needed to bring Heaven down to earth. The gifts of her fiance, Joseph, were trust and faith. The Child brought forgiveness. Wholeness. Second chances. The angels' gifts were tidings of comfort, joy, and peace, the reassurance that there was nothing to fear. The shepherd boy's gift was generosity: his favorite lamb for the baby's birthday present. The innkeeper's wife's gifts were compassion and charity: a warm, dry, safe place for the homeless family to stay, her best throw to wrap the new mother and little one, a meal for Joseph, the donkey's fresh hay. All these gifts were wrapped in miracles. Oh what gifts. Gifts that transform the regular into the miraculous. Nothing from the mall can compare.

Unconditional Love. Selflessness. Trust. Faith. Forgiveness. Wholeness. Second Chances. Comfort. Joy. Peace. Reassurance. Rejoicing. Generosity. Compassion. Charity. Wonder. Acceptance. Courage. How many times in our lives to do we yearn for these gifts? The funny part is we keep looking for these gifts from people. Focus your search for these gifts in another direction this Advent season. The Christ Child brings it to you now. Be humbled and be loved.

It just wouldn't be Christmas without these gifts.

A Recipe from Rachel

Here is what I'm hoping to make today... Cider Beetles

what you'll need:

6 oranges

2 1/4 cups firmly packed brown sugar

12 1 & 1/2 inch cinnamon sticks

12 small whole nutmegs

24 large whole allspice

96 whole cloves

1. Slice oranges in half and scoop out pulp without breaking the orange rind. Reserve pulp for another use.

2. Place orange halves cut side up (like a bowl) on a wire rack on a baking sheet. Bake at 250F for 2 hours until dry and hard. Let Cool. (hint: put a wad of foil about the size of the orange in the bowl to help it keep its shape)

3. Pack brown sugar firmly into each orange half mounding slightly

4. Arrange spices in the brown sugar to resemble beetles: use a cinnamon stick as the body, a nutmeg as the head, 2 allspice for the eyes and 6-8 cloves for the legs/feet.

5. Cover tightly with plastic wrap and store in the refridgerator.

Directions for use: Unwrap the beetle and drop into 1 and 1/2 quarts sugar free apple juice or cider. Simmer 30 minutes. Strain whole spices and orange rind from cider to serve. If you're Lutheran or United Methodist and not on church property, you can add 1/2 cup of brandy ha!

Chapel of the Abiding Presence

As a student at Texas Lutheran College (now University...sorry I can't say it...doesn't sound right) we had the opportunity to attend chapel at 10:30 a.m. every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. As a theology major, I was kind of expected to be there...and I was, every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. It was a 25 minute service with scripture, song and a meditation by the campus pastor. The pipe organ was played by a rotation of sacred music majors. Then we would all pour out into the gathering area just outside the front door of the chapel and eat doughnuts and drink coffee till we finally didn't want any lunch. Some of us had class right after chapel and stuffed pastries into our backpacks and filled our mamoth refillable coffee cups from the Sack and Save before running off to Greek or Philosophy in Literature or Business or Ethics or Homiletics. It was interesting. It wasn't just the theology majors in chapel...most of my friends were Biology or Chemistry majors...and there we all were, worshipping together. Ah...college. The best place I can think to receive that really rude awakening that everyone isn't just like you. Believe me, I was shocked...actually more pleasantly surprised. I don't know if that was glimpse of what I might be doing later but as I look back, I accidentally had people coming with me to chapel. People who told me later that they never would have believed that given a choice between a quick toes up or chapel they would have chosen chapel.

Ah...Evangelism. Another great equalizer :)

O Come, O Come Emmanuel

As a child during the season of Advent, we always had an Advent wreath with the pink and purple candles with the white candle in the middle which was lit on Christmas Eve. Each Sunday night, we'd read a passage from the Nativity Story and follow the prayer in the family Advent workbook. We also had an Advent calendar with a big green Christmas tree that was made of felt with little pockets complete with numbers on each pocket counting down the days to Christmas. Inside each pocket was a felt ornament with lots of sequins and a piece of candy. My sister and I never cared much about which candy we got. The bigger deal was doing the math to figure out who would get to put the last ornament on the tree...THE STAR!!!

As an adult, I find that I have much more of a sense of wonder during this time of the church year. The absolute miracle of the birth of a child. God sending God's son to live His life for the benefit of the world. That this Jesus displays a love the likes of which this world had never seen or will see again. This is what we celebrate with our decorations, our gifts, our worship. We celebrated the first Sunday in Advent yesterday. The trees are up, the greenery is hung and the first candle of the Advent wreath was lit and celebrated. The journey begins as we work to understand this love Christ has for us. Embrace this love, let it envelop you then let those around experience it through you.

O Tannenbaum

Today is the day. Advent and the preparation for the coming of the Christ child begin today in the Cabal household. The proof is at the tip of my third finger where the end a needle has pressed hundreds of times. The popcorn is strung, the boxes of decorations are open and beconing and I'm ready to start. All the symbols are in front of me and so I begin.

Historically, we protestants have prided ourselves in being free of the need for the symbols of the church and our faith...not needing statues, rosaries and other 'ritual' things in order to connect with our God. I say to you that we should be prideful no more. As I work today to transform our home it is solely for the purpose of creating the environment we need to keep our minds focused on preparation and anticipation. I know in my heart that the stresses and distractions in my life will stifle my focus during Advent and that each morning when I wake up, I will walk through the living room and see the Advent wreath and be reminded to pray that my heart will be open to the love of the coming Christ.

Feeling Green

So it's colder outside and I'm lamenting the absence of gardening activity. The morning glory vine is truly sad looking, the impatients are leggy and everything is looking wintery. I love living in Texas which provides an actual changing of seasons even if it does go from 85 to 55 in the course of one hour. It's just hard to see the back yard go from lush to SKELETOR. Very sad.

What that means is all the plants come indoors. So in the course of coming through the front door to stepping into the living room you've already passed 5 plants and you can see at least four more. I choose to surround myself in green. This either means I have a green thumb or I truly can't stand to not garden...even if it does mean just keeping plants alive indoors. Sometimes, since I'm fanatical about it, I just sit and look at the way the sunlight hits an ivy at a certain time of the day. There is an obsession about keeping things alive. I'll cut the plants down and watch to see what they do with their new growth.

As I was cutting a couple of closet plants back today I felt great guilt. Here they are killing themselves to thrive and I'm hacking away. They look naked but I have to get all that old growth off. Surely they can't do well in this dry manmade heat with all of last year's growth. Sometimes we all have to start fresh and see where we can go...just see how far we can go with a new outlook. It may be a new job, a new promise to be healthy or a renewed passion for our spirituality. At first we look naked and vulnerable...all our shoots sticking out...not pretty

Today, in preparation for the new year...think about what needs to be cut down and given a fresh opportunity for growth.

Boxing Life's Ears!

Being a woman is not easy...let me tell you! What's with the emotional rollercoaster anyway?! One day, feeling great...next day I want to box someone's ears. As I wait in expectation for God's peace (on any given day) I experience dispair, then some peace, then some anger, then some peace, then some time of questioning, then some more peace. The one consistent thing is that the experiences of peace increase in degree each time it comes to me. Isn't that consistent with faith in God anyhow? The experience isn't "no faith and trust in God one day and then suddenly WHAMMO! we have faith and trust in God for the rest of our lives'. The road seems a little more up and down to me...like peaks and valleys. I guess I would be faking spirituality if I pronounced my faith life as 'having arrived'.

In the meantime I'm feeling like this little cat. PEW PEW PEW...boxing life's ears and being allowed to be angry sometimes...yep! I'll give it about 2 more hours then I'm done with it for the day.

Thanksgiving List

Can it really be here already?!?!? Is it really Thanksgiving? Should I be looking for "the Great Pumpkin"? No wait, that's Halloween and that's already over so I guess it really is here...Thanksgiving weekend. Making my Thanksgiving list is like making my list for Santa...I actually have to write it all down so that on Thanksgiving night after all the leftovers are safely tucked into the fridge and everyone has refused their last piece of pie, I can hunker down into my cot in the cabin and start my private bedtime prayers. Hmmm... should I list my topics of thanks alphabetically or in the order they happened? okay, seriously...this is starting to sound trite!

I really do have this thing about doing some prayer in private at least once a day. I know that prayer is powerful in the sanctuary among 800 other people on a Sunday morning but boy...do I look forward to that time of private conversation with God...the One who really knows what I'm thinking even if I did put on my best face during the day.

If you read my last post you know I'm already giving thanks for those who are surrounding us. But I made an addition to my list today after my surgery. Number 22...Thank you for the peace you never fail to bestow upon me. " I don't know why I'm always surprised by God's continuous delivery of peace. Today, peace came to us swiftly and we actually had a renewing and peaceful day while recovering. I think that if we can all set apart a time each day to actually LISTEN to God, that peace and wholeness would come to us every day in every situation. I guess it always has to do with whether or not we're listening...being still...and nothing to do with whether or not God is hearing us. Number 23...Lord, help me to remember Number 22.

Sad News

This week we received some very sad news thus my lack of blog entries. Alvaro and I learned a few weeks ago that we were pregnant...a blessing we have been praying for for years. On Friday, we learned that we've miscarried. I believe everyone can understand that we have felt let down, sometimes enraged and confused. However, with the love, prayers and genuine empathy, we are learning to maybe not understand yet but to believe that we will be able to try again and perhaps still have a child. thank you to everyone in our lives who love us and have embraced us with their loving care. Perhaps some time next year we will be able to tell you all that we are carrying a healthy baby. In the meantime, we look to this Thanksgiving weekend to be with family and to give thanks for our friends, our marraige and future we have together. All our lives are a mysteries aren't they? It's a mystery how we endure loss, sadness and what sometimes seems like events that should crush us. God allows us to feel all those things that we humans feel and gives us the freedom to work through things honestly and with faith in whatever form it takes. I wish for all of you to have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday in which you take a moment to give thanks for your lives even in the midst of what hurts. blessing to you all.

Southern Shower

Today at 3:00 p.m., fifteen ladies will descend upon my home to celebrate the impending arrival of my niece Gabriella Cabal, daughter of my brother and sister-in-law, Ciro and Lilly Cabal. Many of you know of the wonderful Latino influence I gained in marrying my husband and all the wonderful Colombian traditions and celebrations I get to experience. But today...Lilly will experience an old fashioned, pinkie lifting, Southern lady, game playing, baby shower! I've had more fun putting it all together and now await the arrival of Lilly and her friends when we will get this party started.

It's interesting how for years women have gathered to give advise, tell stories, remember their mother's and grandmother's stories and generally help a new mother prepare for the birth of her own child. It is a tradition in all cultures. The new mother may have fear of the birth...of caring for a newborn...of knowing how to discipline her child. But there are always those who have gone before to lead the new mother and make her path easier. God will lead Lilly through these women as I know she is open and ready for God's guidance. Love to you and Ciro as we all celebrate the coming of Gabriella in January.

Confirmation Rocks!

Okay, so when I was in Confirmation I didn't think it rocked. In the Lutheran church, Confirmation lasts for two years, one hour every Wednesday night. Sunday school was a seperate lesson. We learned Luther's Small Catechism, memorized the words and meanings of all the creeds and were pretty much prepped for seminary if that was the direction one wanted to go...

This past Sunday I had the honor of leading the FUMC Dallas Confirmation class in United Methodist Heritage. At first those kids were characteristically squirrley and thinking they were going to eat my lunch! But man, are they sharp! I enjoyed that hour more than most in leading Sunday school classes. We discussed our heritage of grace given to us as a free gift of God. We talked about John Wesley, the founder of the Methodist movement, and his understanding of service, study and spirituality. We discussed how our family heritage and our faith heritage sometime go hand in hand. Most importantly, I think, we talked about what Confirmation actually means to them. When I asked that question, one boy said it means that when I'm confirmed, I become a full member of the church. And the truth is, on their day of confirmation, they get to choose for their very own selves whether or not they want to be a member of the church. For all their years previous, they've been brought to church by their parents, been taught by their parents and leaders here at the church and for the most part been told what their faith is all about. But at the end of confirmation they get to say, "I am a Christian not only because my mom and dad said I am...but because I myself chose to be".

That is a very powerful moment in the lives of our youth as they become mature in their faith and realize and use the gift of free will that God has blessed them with. They are on their way and I'm so blessed to have had that hour with them.

Heaven as a reward?

If you grew up Christian, you were most likely taught that Heaven is your reward for believing in Jesus Christ, doing God's work and living a life that Christ would live. That message is everywhere, including scripture. But I always had an issue with it. When I was little I never received an allowance like my friends. I think that at our house there was no belief in getting a reward for what you should have been doing in the first place. Clean your room...here's a buck...what!?!? If I needed money for a movie with a neighbor kid or to buy a birthday present for a friend's party, I would just ask and get money for that event. So when I thought about heaven as a reward, it didn't make sense to me either...it just didn't follow.

When I think about 'doing the right thing' or trying to live my life as Christ would have me live it, I still don't really think about my 'reward'. Actually, I'm already receiving a reward now...in this life, as I experience the peace of trying to keep my life in order or in learning more about the kingdom of God through study and prayer. What is our motivation is serving God and God's purpose anyway. So we can get a prize like at a Halloween festival?...if you throw the fake fishing line over the sheet just right you get a pack of Sweedish Fish on the end of your clothes pin? It just doesn't seem right. It seems to me like we should be serving God in complete response to what Christ has done for us and in response to that pure love we experience. Don't get me wrong, I look forward to the mystery of 'heaven' being revealed to us all. But Heaven as a Reward??? Makes my faith journey seem less than genuine if I'm acting like it's all about me and what I get for my efforts. My prayer everyday is that I'm looking beyond myself toward the needs and wants of others and in doing that am serving God for the sole reason that I should be doing that anyway...not for my reward.

Renewed by cow bones and jack-o-lanterns

A weekend at the farm always does the trick when I've been working hard, thinking too hard and just need to re-focus. We returned last night from a three day weekend at Blackacre. We did all the things we do in October: pick up pecans, sit by the fire, sit in the sun by the river and usually a hike up the hill. I decided my friend Katy needed to experience the hill. In years past it was a much friendlier place but lately it's really grown up and become quite wild. There used to be a cave where we'd fine fox cubs and we used to try to transplant the flowering cactus. I knew we'd be in for an adventure but it was quite an amazing hike. Katy learned how to whistle with an acorn cap, we saw little horned spiders and then the icing!!!....we found the remains of a cow just as we began to decend. The bones were completely bleached so we could really inspect. Just as we thought we'd picked the ones she wanted to keep we spoted the pelvic bone. It is about two and a half feet high and two and half feet wide. Of course she couldn't live without it and she lugged that thing down the hill and then all the way back to the cabin. (We made into a pumpkin display rack for Katy's creation)

I always discover something new when I go to the farm but this time I was blessed with a rediscovery. I watched someone discover the place for the first time and relived my own joy of loving it for the first time. I've always had a special feeling for the people who taught me to whistle with an acorn cap, skip a rock on the river and find doodle bugs in the sand. This time I got to show someone those treasures. I think we should all be thinking of the things that are important to us and do what we can to pass those things on whether it be your traditions, your faith, your love of nature or music...anything. Just don't keep it to yourself.

Pecan Harvest and Girlie Time

It's that time of year to go to the farm and GET THE PECANS!!! Woo Hooooo! We get one chance each year to pick up all the pecans we can to last us till next fall. Heck, Christmas baking eats most of 'em up anyway. Of course I've packed my trusty Rocket Cracker so that when my back starts screaming from picking the things up we can sit down for a while and crack some. (One in the jar...one in my mouth)

But this year, there's an added bonus. I get to take my friend Katy. I guess I've known Katy since she was 8 or 9. We used to play the piano, laugh a lot about really silly stuff and I always go to her birthday party. This year I didn't get to go (which I hated). So I thought it would be fun to spend some time together...like a whole three-day weekend's worth :) No boys allowed this weekend. We'll do some roasting of marshmallows, driving of the tractor, smear some mud mask on our faces, picking of pecans, carving of pumpkins and generally having a relaxing time at the farm. The best part will be getting to know Katy again. I remember being 15 and perhaps I haven't grown up all that much so I know we're going to have a great time. ha! Thanks in advance Katy for helping me have a great, young and meaningful weekend.

Fading into the background

Look at this picture. Can you find the moth on the tree trunk? okay, I'll give you a minute.....I have no idea how I saw it as I walked by this tree but I was amazed by the size and doubly amazed at how a moth that big could blend in to its background. Even as I got a ladder, climbed up to its level and aimed my camera just inches away he didn't make a move.

Sometimes I find myself doing this. There is a big crowd of people...maybe even people I know, and I find myself just trying to be quiet and blend in to the background. Then I wonder, "Why wouldn't I want to be outgoing and talk to everyone?" I try to assess if I'm feeling down and somehow apart from people. I decide I'm not feeling that way at all. I just feel like being quiet and having a glass of punch by myself. I think sometimes we just like to observe which in itself is a very proactive activity. We can find a nice vantage point like this moth did and just watch and listen to the people around us. Listen to their exchanges, listen to their greetings to each other, listen to the kindness around us. It makes me smile to listen to other people laughing, telling each other about their weekends...who they saw; what they did.

There is amazing beauty in exchanges between human beings. Take notice of the people around you.

Bye bye birdie

Well, today is Niles' vacation is over. I have to take him home today. What fun we have had! I'll have to write Scott and Jennifer a note that I've spoiled him terribly...and I had a great time doing it. He is very smart, very funny and has his very own personality which entertains everyone around him. It's been since 2000 since I've had a pet and he's made me think a lot about going right out and finding a little animal spirit who would enjoy being in our home. Alvaro, who is not much of a pet kind of guy, loved having Niles here. I never owned a bird before and Niles requires a lot of attention and I realize that he, like all pets, need attention...lots of it.

We are leaving for the farm today where there are LOTS of animals which will make me very happy. But none of them are pets...thanks Scott and Jennifer for letting us have Niles for a week :)

What is your spiritual type?

Each day in my job, I get to visit with lots of people who are looking for a church or some kind of spiritual family. It would be ignorant of me to assume that everyone grew up just like me and have the same feelings about spirituality as I do. What I can assume is that everyone has feelings about spirituality...even if they don't consider themselves to be spiritual or religious.

I found a fun quiz to help me define my spiritual type. Click here to take the quiz. I learned that I am a Questioning Believer. Yep, that's about right! :) I'm strong in belief in the big stuff but I don't sweat the smaller issues that many people like to argue about. Actually, since college I've thought that it's okay to question God...how else am I going to work out what my beliefs actually are? I want to use the reasoning brain God gave me. Plus I'm stubborn and sometimes a hard sell so I have to ask questions.

It's interesting to look at the different Spiritual Types and then look at the different Christian denominations...the lines are almost perfectly drawn. If you wanted to, you could even put our familiar labels on these groups...all the way from conservative Christian to liberal left. To find out where you fit in on that continuum you first have to learn what kind of spiritual person you are; rather than WHAT you actually believe about every single issue. This way you have an avenue of growth rather than barriers to break down.

If you haven't already, take the quiz above...if nothing else, it is interesting to see if they have you pegged :)

Birdie Horror Flick

If you remember from a previous post, I'm bird sitting for Niles the parrot who belongs to my cousins Scott and Jennifer. Wow are we having fun. He is now addicted to 24 just like Alvaro and I are...he makes the 'peet peet' sound of the clock as it ticks down. Last night after his snack of apples, peanuts and squash, I thought it would fun to watch a movie together. Alvaro wouldn't be home till 9:30 so I started looking to see what we could find. The very first movie listed was Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds". I thought it was just way too perfect and I know God arranged with the programmers of MONSTER HD to include this flick; so we would just have to watch it.

Creepily, every time the birds started attacking the children, Niles would inappropriately do his woman laugh. Or when the birds really got going with the squelching and screeching, Niles let loose too. I swear he had that evil eyebrow thing happening and I'm pretty sure someone went, "heh, heh, heh". (I'm well aware that birds don't have eyebrows but still)

After the movie was over I went over to his cage to see if he liked the movie and to have the all important conversation with Niles about pecking people's eyes out and the resulting guilt. He seemed to understand and said to me that he's a 'good boy'. So all is well at Hotel Cabal...for now...muuaa ha ha ha ha ha.

It Smells Like Worms!

So have you ever noticed that when it hasn't rained in a while and it suddenly comes a Texas sized downpour that the air and even the inside of most buildings smells like worms??? yuk! I remember recognizing that smell since forever. I knew that the earthworms had come out for the water and then end up getting dried up on the sidewalk cuz they didn't quite slime back into the dirt quickly enough. I also sensed that there been A LOT of rain...even if I didn't witness it.

Last night, one such downpour began and I guess didn't really let up till today around 11:30. There was that wonderful lightning and thunder, the sound of the rain on the roof that makes you want to sleep till again...forever. But ugh...those worms! I guess anytime there's a big cleansing rain...or re-thinking of things...or a new revelation...the smelly yucky stuff has to be washed out too.

A True Super Mom

I was doing a little dusting this morning and picked up this photo of me and my mom probably taken in 1971 or 1972, my dad had died but she had not yet married my dad, Landis. I think we were living in Seguin and mom was attending Texas Lutheran College. I keep this photo out mainly because I love to remember that time but also for that hair...just look at mom's hair...it's awesome!!

When I think of that time I only think of the great fun I was having. Mom and I lived in a little green house in Seguin where she helped me nail wood slats to the hackberry tree in the back yard so I could climb way up to the top of the tree. Or the time I thought I would be really helpful and use her lipstick and some popcicle sticks to label the vegetables in the garden. Or when I got one of those metal lawn chairs out of the garage to sit under the tree but always ended up getting folded up like a Peanuts character. She always rescued me.

But now, as an adult, I think about her and what she might have been feeling. I would imagine she was quite scared even though I never saw it. I would imagine she was struggling to make it all work even though all I experienced was her always being there to take me places and ride bikes. Sometimes I went to her college classes with her and there was always a learning project that took us to Grandma's to find certain kinds of leaves, rocks or an inspiration for science learning centers for elementary children.

After she finished college she taught kindergarten for 25 years and retired this past May. Thanks Mom for the amazing mothering that I never knew you did till I grew up...oh, and for the hair!

Meet Niles

This is Niles (he is named after Frazier's brother). My cousins Scott and Jennifer have had Niles for about 7 or 8 years and ever so often Alvaro and I are the happy sitters of this awesome bird. My favorite thing to do is to feed Niles. He loves fresh fruit and veggies, peanuts in the shell and his newest love (they've just informed me) jalapenos!! I had no idea!! Can't wait to buy some of those and watch him eat 'em. He loves to imitate noises like the phone, my cousins' cats (yes, he actually meows) and a woman's laugh...it's uncanny. He makes our home feel very tropical! I have an unexplainable hankering for something served in a coconut shell with an umbrella.

Before I got married and I lived in a small apartment, Niles would come to visit then too. I let him out of his cage just so he could stretch his wings and be naughty by landing places where I couldn't reach him again. I remember he always landed on the ceiling fan (it was turned off of course). I really didn't care about him being on the ceiling fan but I remember that he would land, then there was a big POOF with dust flying everywhere then his unending sneezing! Hysterical!

I mentioned recently that I used to have cat and how much joy Martin always brought me. And having Niles in our home is a reminder of how much joy all pets bring many people. If you do not have a pet (as we do not), may I recommend taking a little trip to the SPCA or a pet shop and, if nothing else, just stay a while and watch an animal. Be amazed how at they do things. Right now Niles is grasping a carrot and just gnawing away. I'll let you know if he picks up any new impressions during his stay at Hotel Cabal.

Packing a bag for a place you've never been

Some of you know that I'm a HUGE fan of U2. I love their way of making me think about faith and social action. One of my favorite lines is, "You're packing a bag for a place you've never been". It seems like each day we are packing that bag...in the way we interact with others, the ways in which we serve others and in the way we help others. We are building our own character as we build our understanding of selflessness and concern for someone other than ourselves and those beyond our own families and our own culture.

Yes, serving others feels good...we all know that. But what if we serve sacrificially? Actually serving when it's not comfortable or convenient. The holidays are coming up and we will see numerous opportunities to serve Thanksgiving dinner to people who wouldn't normally have one and to buy Christmas gifts and take them to that little tree in the middle of the mall. Please do these things; but this year maybe we can see that it doesn't end there. After the prime giving season, make a commitment to continue these acts. Visit a retirement community on a Thursday night. Serve meals at a homeless shelter over your lunch hour. Become a Big Brother or a Big Sister. Make empathy an integral part of your suitcase and let the service flow out of you year round.

I once knew a family who went once a month to a nursing facility...the whole family. The guys took checker boards and challenged the men to a game. The girls took nail polish and gave manicures while listening to the women tell about their lives and their experiences. No talent needed for this friends...just a willingness to turn off the TV, get in the car and do it.

Eschmangelism continued

So I've been thinking about what I wrote yesterday and hoping that you all have a sense of humor because these I think these card are hysterical! I probably won't send you one in the mail but still....

Another one I saw said, "Jesus called. He wants his religion back." Hey if God has a sense of humor I can too...

Evangelism Eschmangelism

I am the director of Evangelism at First United Methodist Church in downtown Dallas...scary huh? First, the word Evangelism...yipe! Second, Dallas...in the beltbuckle of the Bible belt...double yipe!!!! I think many Christians have given evangelism the scary rep it has for many people. Since as long as I can remember I've had a weird feeling when I see an evangelist on TV. The hair on the back of my neck gets all prickly and I want to run away even though the Christian faith has always been a part of my heritage.

Evangelism, in my view, is the job of everyone. We practice it every single time we encounter another human being. Another opinion I have is that if we, as Christians, meet someone for the first time and mention our faith in God and what that means to us without having first been asked seems only self serving...somehow thinking we're going to 'win' a soul for Christ is in our power. We're doing that because strangely we think that that person is just dying to know about us and what we believe. Why don't we wait for the invitation? Why can't we allow God to move that person to curiosity instead of biting at the bit to 'please be interested in me'. Rather, we should be more interested in that person, respect them for who and what they are and let God work in God's own time. God gives every human being free will and they may decide not to make their life with Christ. If you've argued someone into wanting to know more about Christ, have they really made that choice? Don't speak the language of what seems to many non-Christians as 'club speak' and just be a person loving other people.

Don't feel like you have to learn some special steps to Evangelism. Don't think that you have to have a Theology degree in order to talk about spirituality. Love and commune with God, then allow that love to flow back through you into the midst of others. Just let it be.

Tell me what you think about this brand of Evangelism. A great way to better understand this way of thinking is to read John Shore's, "I'm Okay, You're Not"...his blog is listed in my favorites to the right.

The Blessing of the Animals

How many of you have a pet? I used to have a cat named Martin Luther...the reformer, not the social activist although Martin was quite kingly. Martin was to me what many humans could not be. He was the best listener, acted any old way without worrying what I thought about him and simply gave me companionship at a moments notice. Today at 5:30 p.m., First United Methodist Church will hold a mass Blessing of the Animals at Reverchon Park off the Katy Trail near Uptown Dallas. Because we are talking about hundreds of animals with their humans in tow, there will also be a joyous mass chaos! Dogs splashing about in the kiddie pools, people trying to keep up and the love of pets written all over it. The SPCA will be there to give everyone the opportunity to bless an animal by giving them a home and to receive donations of blankets, kitty litter, pet toys...etc. The children's choirs will be there to lend a song. And a new ministry, UrbanLife, will be launched. You can check out this new group by clicking on the church website to the right.

Hope to see you all there.

Tell me You're Helpless without me!

My sister recently sent me a 'have-a great-week' care package which included two candles, a great hand lotion and this amazingly hysterical sticky notepad. Would you just take a good look at that woman !?!??! "She was comforted by the knowledge that they were helpless without her" HA!!!!!! With a bit of a sheepish face I'll admit it...sometimes I think this! (maybe that's why she sent it...it's a joke right?....wait...right?)

I was out sick yesterday but guess what. The whole office just kept on running. Nothing really fell apart...hmmm. Maybe I'm not as required 24/7 as I thought. At first I thought, "Man, did they even notice I was gone? Are you telling me I wasn't really needed?" Then I thought, "Wow, how great that a team works so well that when one link is missing for a day or even a month, the whole team pulls together and makes the train keep on barreling down the track". When I'm out of the office because of illness, I usually let that psychosis of guilt keep me from resting...Ohhh, I should be there, I could make it if I really tried...there always the restrooms along the way....but maybe it's okay to just stay in the bed and concentrate on getting better.

There is the need to be needed and then there is that icky pride thing that makes us think no one else can do what we do as well as we do it. I say we all need a good whippin' when that kind of pride sneaks in. I'm probably way more guilty of this than anyone I know but I think God likes watching us grow and become...and in pride of any kind, there is lots of room for growth.

Taking out the trash

It's Friday...trash day. I've gathered up the garbage from the bathroom, the kitchen, the yard....it's time to take it out. There is a sense of urgency because I think I hear the truck and if I miss it, the trash bags will have to sit in my garage and stink up the place until Tuesday...and that just can't happen, yuk! Actually, I started thinking about gathering up the trash last night hoping that I remembered this morning. It made me think about the fact that four of the seven days of the week I think about taking out the trash.

It made me wonder about emotional garbage. How much time to spend thinking about that? Most likely at least every day. We let it control us, occupy our every waking moment. Would life be better if once a week we intentionally thought about getting rid of the emotional junk that we don't need? And how do we get rid of it? Or maybe we just let it pile up for weeks without a thought. Man, it really does get ripe when we don't deal with it. Maybe at least once a week I should put all that rotten thinking and emotional stuff on an old paper towel, put it in with the potato peels and set it next to the curb with all the tangible junk. Each day is new even if the junk lingers. We get a brand new day to deal with it maybe in a new way - a more productive way. We get to choose not to be the victim of the junk.

Don't think I'm being trite, just try it once. Try writing down your biggest piece of trash and physically put in the kitchen garbage and leave it there. For added effect, watch the garbage man drive away with it :)

Dead Friendships

What is the most toxic ingredient that make a dead friendship? For me it's the lack of nourishment...and I'm guilty!! I get into my routines of work at the church and at home and don't create that time required to enrich friendships and prevent them from dying. I'll admit, there are those fews friendships where you just seem to pick up where you left off no matter how long it's been since you last talked but for the most part absence does not make the heart grow fonder.

This coming week I realize I have scheduled a little time almost every single day to visit with friends...over dinner, lunch, after work and on my 'precious' day off. It's a good thing to look forward to these moments and push my selfishness with my time to the back burner. Kind of freeing actually. It's not easy for me to do but I treasure friendships and want to be a good friend to those who are so important to me. I've been meaning to take this step for a long time and can't explain my sudden action but I'm sure glad it happened...maybe that prayer thing for growth and motivation is working :)

One friendship that I will really work on is with a good friend who is leaving our church staff for family leave in only one week. Rev. Alexandra Robinson has been on our staff for 5 years now and has chosen to take some time to be home with her 2 year old twin boys. Lucky for me, the Robinsons live close to us so I can easily continue to nurture that friendship and hopefully continue to be a big part of the boy's lives as they grow. The friendship with Alex has always been easy because we've worked closely toward a common goal at the church. Now it's exciting to think of that friendship existing just because.

This week, think of friend with whom you feel you need to reconnect and reach out to that person. Write a actual letter that you put in the mail or pick up the phone and schedule a time to get together. I'll bet it will be a blessing for you both.

The Devil Made Me Do It!

How many times have you heard this, thought this and embraced this thinking? We do something that later we realize (or realize it while we're doing the deed) it wasn't such a great thing. Or maybe we think it once we're caught and we're looking for a good excuse for having done it. Is 'the devil made me do it' a good way to divert the blame away from the source of the wrong or is it truly some natural force of evil that makes us do the things we wish we didn't do but continue to do? At what point do we finally take responsibility for ourselves and place recognition of weakness where it belongs?

This is a question I wrestle with often when I'm watching the news and hear some story about a murder, an abuse...an act that I believe goes against what God has in mind for us humans...a sin.

Often we hear about an abuser being abused themselves as a child and that person's current actions are then blamed on the parents. Or more specifically the story of the sports figure engaging in organizing and participating in dog fighting resulting in the injury, abuse and death of animals. One story goes that he grew up participating in this activity therefore he 'didn't know any better'. Or let's go even farther...adults who, as a result of a wrong done to them, end up abusing themselves with all kinds of destructive behavior all the while blaming the actions of those in their past for their current state of mind.

It seems to me that as we all grow, mature and stretch our understanding of self it is our own responsibility to name our own sin and weaknesses for what they are...OUR OWN SIN AND WEAKNESSES. Stop blaming everyone else and take a long close look at how you will decide to define yourself apart from everyone else and everything else...as an individual. Once we claim our behavior rather than allowing 'the past' to define it, our journey to freedom begins.

A girl's guide to surviving Monday

5:45 a.m., the alarm goes off and a song that brings bad memories is playing, you remember that yesterday the ac went out and you live in Texas and the highs are still in the 90s. You have to dress up and have a good hair day for an event so that means hair dryer. You finally get out of the house after two showers and a couple of fluff and buffs you get in the car and realize you have to stop and get gas. You get to work and the postage meter is jammed AND the copier is down and you're still a little tired from working 7:45 - 6:00 on a Sunday. You're computer is slow and people are awaiting your approval on stuff that has to go to print yesterday. Take a deep breath, get something cold to drink and continue on to the next thing.

Go to lunch with Channel 8 and negotiate cost for this year's Live Christmas Eve worship. Realize you really like your rep. She's kinda fun...hmmm...maybe we should hang out more and talk about girl stuff...marriage, jobs, faith, why my clothes don't fit, our husbands, how we deal with the need for control and what place in life and in our faith that really holds. Go back to church, check hair and makeup for participation in the stewardship video...worry way too much about how you look, feel bad about that. Complete filming, go to the bathroom and notice big zit on your nose. Look around for the cameras from PUNKED. Say you don't care and go back to your office to respond to emails and voice mails. Actually, what great emails...from people who visited the church yesterday...lots of great correspondence...lots of great questions.

You know...in the midst of this truly hysterical day (isn't it after all, just funny, when a day like this happens to you) lots of great stuff can be found as well. I actually don't mind that it's 87 in my house right now since I have 5 fans and a tall glass of iced tea. Is it really so bad in the big scheme of things? I think not! It's not always an easy struggle to make the decision that it was a good day but today was a good day. I've decided!

Fall Plantings

It's Friday...the day I take care of things around the house that I don't get to do all week. Errands to the grocery store, laundry, chores...the stuff that requires a large block of time that we don't have during the workweek. What I really want to do today is go the Home Depot, buy 6 bags of potting soil and some nice fall plants and spend the morning replanting the flowerbed around the sweetgum in the front yard. That sounds like much more fun than doing the laundry and cleaning the bathrooms.

Spring has always been the symbol of new beginnings, freshness and renewal. In the home we even call it 'spring cleaning'. But what about Fall? There is a new freshness in the air, children start a new year of school and there just a new crispness all around us. The children get new notebooks, pens, glue, paper...on my new book cover I would practice writing, 'Mrs. Alvaro Jose Martinez Cabal' about a hundred times ha! New friends, new teachers...Fall is just a time for new stuff, physically and mentally. Maybe I'm just looking for an excuse to play outside but Fall Plantings and the new beginning that represents for me seems much more attractive.

So, if we're going to think of Fall as a time for new beginnings, what is the next step? I'll have to go farther than putting new plants in the flowerbeds. I need to look for more ways to take advantage of this opportunity. At our church there is an abundance of new studies and new opportunities for giving and volunteering my time. Opportunities for me to grow and maybe even make a difference in the lives of others. These opportunities are laying around everywhere...not just at the church. Our communities are full of people who could used some care and compassion. Let us all think of how we can take this season and make it meaningful...we don't have to wait for the new year for a new beginning. Plant something this fall!

eeeeek! A Mouse!

While enjoying my coffee this morning, I saw something I don't like to see...well, maybe it was kind of cute. A mouse was nibbling his way along the edge of fence acting like I wasn't even there. ewwww. or maybe...awwwww. I can't decide. Growing up I spent lots of time at my Nana and Papaw's house in the country. There were always mice in the field, mice in the peanut hay in the barn and yes, mice in the house. So it follows that there were mouse traps. The kind that go 'snap' and you immediately know someone's going to have to go take the deceased to the trash pit. My papaw was elated to hear that sound. I always cried. After all mice are kinda of cute with their little wiggly nose and quick way of darting here and there and I hated the thought that a living thing had just ceased living.

So what do I do about the mouse in my back yard? I have some poison in the garage. I could put a little square on the path he's taking. But then he'll eat it, get thirsty and go into the alley to die and then my neighbor's will call me and laughingly accuse me of murder. I'm an animal lover and am amazed by all life forms but I still have this equation of mice=filth. I don't think I was born with the innate knowledge that 'girls don't like mice' but it's there...that need to jump on the patio furniture and scream. I was trained to possess the eeeeek factor. Last fall I alone killed at least 4 mice and I think I feel remorse. I'm going to let this mouse live his little mouse life in my back yard...I can't bring myself to hurt him. Yes, I'm a tree hugger and I'd probably make a great Buddist in regard to living things but it all boils down to that fact that that mouse is just so darn cute.

As I went back outside after the first sighting this morning, I found that I was actually looking for him and hoping to see him again. Oh well, probably a neighborhood cat will get into the back yard and end the issue altogether. In the meantime, I will embrace the idea of 'mouse' and make that decision that girls don't have to hate mice. Ahhhh...freedom :)

In Honor of 1st Lt. James Leonard Knobles

37 years ago today, my father was killed in the Vietnam War. I was only two years old and in being honest with myself, I know in my heart that I don't remember him. But I feel like I did know him because of all his friends and family who always answer my many questions about his love for my mother, his philosophies, his faith, his love for his country and just what type a person he was. Today, my Grannie and I were emailing and talking about my dad...her eldest son. It's a very hard day for her but we get through it by talking about my dad and always end up smiling and having a peaceful heart. Today I told my Grannie that I think that if my dad were living we would argue a lot about politics, religion, social issues and such. Grannie said he was much like my Grandpa and boy did he and I go at it. Always with a love and respect but we didn't see eye on too many issues...only that we loved each other very much which I suppose made all the arguing mute. Really I guess it was more of just a hobby for us to debate (that's a much better word) all the sticky issues.

But today, I remember my father's life with an admiration, some sense of awe and a thankfulness for his willingness and bravery to fight in a very unpopular war. I think of all the men and women who today are beling compared to the men and women who fought in Vietnam. Whatever your stance on the whole issue it all comes down to loving those who are that brave and selfless. Whether a war is right or wrong doesn't change that strong character possessed by those in harm's way.

September 11th is a dark day...because of what happened in our country 6 years ago and because of my father's death. We're allowed dark days and I believe encouraged to dwell, just for that day, so that we always remember those who have gone on before.

Playful!!

Before I met Alvaro's parents in Colombia, I met his brother Ciro. When his parents asked, "What is she like?" he said, "Rachel is a female Alvaro". And I think he was right. We are both pretty goofy and we play off each other's silliness . Does that mean soul mate? I don't know but I do know that Alvaro and I have tons of fun together! Here is a video from our recent vacation to California. The reason I stop filming was because Alvaro started getting really nervous about how close I was to the edge of the cliff where we were standing.

Laughing, having fun and not being afraid of being silly is a huge part of our relationship. It's so freeing to have someone who won't ever think I'm strange or immature...actually I guess we both embrace our inner child. And that's true for arguments too. Sometimes adults are childish in our rants, selfishness and sense of entitlement.

I recently saw a blog post talking about letting go of ego so that we can blurt more building up language than tearing down language. Seeing other people participate in behavior that I often take part in helps me to just accept that we are all human and imperfect...and more able to forgive and overlook hurts and perceived emotional injuries more readily. We all have 'things' we are working on and personal paths to betterment...I think we should all be a little more patient and allow the people around us a environment to grow without us always pointing out the wrongs and flaws. The growth will take place much more quickly for everyone. hmmmm......

My Favorite Sounds

Here's a fun thing to do...(yes, it's my day off and I'm having a great day!)

Think about your day and what you encountered...be silent and listen. What did you hear? Then make a list of your favorites...what made you smile. these are my favorite sounds...

my husband's voice
canning jar lids popping
our church organ (especially when Tim is playing Bach or A Mighty Fortress)
a hummingbird buzzing
a lawnmower
a river rushing
thunder
the ocean
locusts and crickets chirping
mockingbirds pretending they're something they're not :)
steel drums
a fire popping
the end of a wet towel making contact with a friend's rear end ha!
The Stones
...and much more

A day off and alone is precious in the midst of life, work, relationship and expectations. I'm so appreciative of these moments...time to be be quiet and productive in the way I like best...sound selfish? Maybe. But it's a blessing I will never take for granted. Even if I had decided to sleep this day away, it would be the way I had decided to spend it and that's okay too. Love every moment!!

Blessing of the Animals

I've been working with our new associate minister, Rev. Kathryn Ransdell on a launch event for our newest ministry here at FUMC Dallas...It's called UrbanLife. Soon the website will be up and full of exciting information...When it's ready I will add it to my favorites so you'll have easy access...

In the meantine, Kathryn has been working diligently to build this new ministry that focuses on young professionals living in Downtown and Uptown Dallas...our immediate parish. The launch event for UrbanLife is the Blessing of the Animals which will happen on Sunday, October 7th at 5:30 p.m. in Reverchon Park on the Katy Trail. Members and non members of the church will bring their pets to the park and there will be a mass blessing of the ones that are a blessing to so many humans. The ministers will be in their robes, the SPCA will be there with opportunities for us to adopt animals and of course plastic pools for splashing (the pets, not the humans...unless you want us to point and laugh.) Just a good and meaningful time for all.

Some may say, "How can the church feel good about spending money on a ceremony that focuses on muts, cats and whatever else people put on the end of a leash?!" I've actually heard that a lot. But let's think about this. In introducing people to a church congregation...what SHOULD be our focus? Do we need the event to be "churchy"? Should our T-shirts have John 3:16 glowing in neon green with a WWJD just below that?? (hmmm...looks this is a continuation of yesterday blog entry) Or can we simply have an event where we can serve and love and meet new people.

I think people are just people and we all should relate to each as just....people...People who have pets (or not), enjoy the outdoors and might also enjoy experiencing a church family who is made up of normal people of all kinds. As I said yesterday, we 'churchies' (ha, a new word) need to be particularly in tune with how we present Christ. Will Christ be introduced as judging and unapproachable or as loving and accepting. We get to choose that in our words and actions. So whether you believe all pets go to heaven or not (shame if you don't ha!) come to the Blessing of the Animals for an amazing moment of fellowship, fun and blessings!

Are you the Church Lady?

Since my arrival back to Dallas and my church slash job...I've worked my hiney off! This coming Sunday, September 9th, is a huge day in the life of this congregation. The third graders will be presented with the gift of a study Bible during worship, there are people planning on becoming members of the church during the 11:00 worship service, all the children move up a grade in their Sunday school classes and a partridge in a pear tree. AND, with the beginning of the school year, lots of other opportunities for growth ramp up as well...In-depth Studies for adults, children's choir rehearsals begin, the Rotunda theatre series is in full swing and our newest ministry, UrbanLife, is about to launch in a HUGE way with tons of new visitors and members of the church in new leadership positions. It's all very exciting.

I was thinking about my job and life here at the church and wondered what someone on the 'outside' of this place thinks when they hear me go on and on about church and faith and stuff. Do they assume I'm the Church Lady? Yes, I know, I worry too much about what other people think. But more than that, I worry that many Christians today have given Christianity a bad name. My biggest (and most egotistical) fear is that I will be equated with the "are-you-washed-in-the-blood-of-the-lamb" Christians who try to scare people into heaven or try to group people into "good" and "bad" lumps of faceless masses. The idea that I can only help dispel this idea of Christians is overwhelming. I cringe when I hear trite phrases like "Just give it to God" or "If it's God's will..." or my personal favorite, "Are you saved?" I think immediately of how these long practiced utterances sound to the non-Christian or to the undecided. This is language that life long church goers can spit out not realizing that it doesn't mean anything to one who hasn't decided for themselves what it means. It's almost like the language of a club.

From singer/songwriter: Damien Rice

"So why do you fill my sorrow

With the words you've borrowed

From the only place you've known

And why do you sing Hallelujah

If it means nothing to you

Why do you sing with me at all?"

I have no idea what Damien is really singing about but when I hear this chorus I think it sounds like someone has attempted to comfort someone else with some really well rehearsed words instead being a genuine person and truly having empathy. This is what I don't want to be. This is my reason for attending worship, studying scripture, being involved in a church family and practicing my faith as I understand it...so that I can strive to be a 'real' person and not just a product of a religion.

Anyway, that's my soapbox for the day and it's soooooo time to get off of it :)

Blackacre

If you know law terms, you will know that the word 'Blackacre' is an arbitrary name for a piece of land used for purposes of supposition in legal argument or the like. (Of course that's not how I talk, that's just what my dad told me) This is the name of our family's 116 acre pecan farm 17 miles east of Seguin, Texas on Hwy 90. Sometimes, when I'm feeling really exhausted from...well...life, this is the place where I feel my heart and soul really belong. We were blessed with a long weekend and Alvaro and I took the opportunity to be with my mom, dad and sister at Blackacre. While I was sitting next to the Guadelupe, I made a list of the things I had seen that day. See if you can get the picture of being in this place.

people eating bar-b-que

a river running high

wild grapes still on the vine in September

purple martins swarming

horses playing

cows grazing

a Scrabble board

lightening bugs

a rainbow

organized tools

many giant spiders and one gargantuan scorpion

snap beetles

rain & puddles

cardinals, hawks, finches & buzzards

roaring campfire

These things warm my heart in a way that not many things can do. Maybe it's the place. Maybe it's seeing God so clearly in those surroundings and in the life of a small town nearby. Maybe it's the feeling of accomplishment after the physical labor required to keep up with the little chores needing to be done around a farm. Sometimes it seems so simple...that life. It's that simplicity that is so often missing from the lives of those of us who are 'busy'. A reminder is many times all people need to put everything else into perspective.

I picked 17 pounds of those Mustang grapes on Sunday evening. I'm going to be making grape jelly for the rest of the week. I'm going to be exhausted and I'm going to love every minute of it! Let me know if you need some for your toast!

Got that 'fed up' feeling!?!?!?

So here's what happens when you get back to work after a week of not working...you clear off 150 emails regarding free degrees, people wanting you to be the heir to their greatgrandfather's uncle's son's wife's fortune and some other unmentionable topics regarding enhancement. Then you get a good look at the stuff that went wrong that you were ultimately responsible for. Then the post vacation blues really hit when you realize that it's going to be this way until at least Thanksgiving...but then you say, "Hey, wait a minute. I'm on the staff of a downtown church and Lent and Christmas worships, studies and activities are just around the corner..." Aghhhhhhhh! And don't forget about the Chili Cook off that's after the first of the year!!! Wow, I gotta get a grip! I don't know who that little girl in the picture is but boy does her face embody my feelings right now. What to do, what to do???
Okay, take a deep breath, get that look off your face and get it together! How does one get it together when all you want to do is let it all fall apart? First, get something to drink (no, I'm only suggesting some hot tea or something, geez!) Now, take full advantage of the organizational qualities that God so generously bestowed upon you. Next, take a deep breath and repeat after me..."It's okay to be fed up but GET OVER YOURSELF ALREADY!"
Like every other feeling and emotion we have, it's healthy for only so long. God gave us every emotion we have (yeah, a present!) but we have to use the free will God gave us and recognize when we need to move on to the next more productive emotion. I'm pretty sure that when we feel stuck, it's our own doing. We often feel like victims of our emotions...sadness, anger, being fed up. But how can we function when we roll around in the scent of these emotions. They just get even more stuck on us and it's that much harder to shake it off. So, now I must go and shake this off by brewing some ginger tea, taking a quick walk around downtown and then try to get started again...you try it too :)