I never sausage a sad face

Sorry, that is pure cheese...but I couldn't help it. I've just learned that Alvaro and I don't get to go to Fredrickburg to make deer sausage with my uncle this year...it's the same weekend as the FUMC 2008 Chili Cook-Off and I'm kinda in charge of that. Man, making sausage is a fun time! My apologies to all you non deer-eating folks. Over the course of that one Saturday, my family will have processed over 500 pounds of sausage...dried one pound links, pan breakfast sausage and fresh sausage links. With my uncles very special secret, 'I'll have to kill ya if I tell ya' recipe, there is just nothing tastier!

The only thing better than the sausage itself is the time spent with my cousins, family friends and anyone else who just wants to come over and be a part of the process. My cousin Sam is in charge of making sure everyone has plenty of hot pan sausage to snack on. Alvaro is in charge of cutting up the pork that gets mixed in. I like to tie the links and prepare them for the smokehouse. My uncle, Anton, is the official stuffer and casing untangler. (yeah, is kinda gross to watch) But for how many generations has this family made their own sausage, preserves, wine and put up vegetables? How rich to be witness to these age old and well practiced traditions that once were done for survival. In this same family was passed down a rich heritage of faith in which we are always reminded that God is the source of all our necessities. Even though I know I don't get to be there, Saturday evening the 26th will end with guitars and voices coming together singing hymns and probably some great folk songs. I'll probably still get some saugage but I won't have tied any of it.

yea yea yea...enough about Blackacre already!!!

Since, two of you have asked and commented on our pecan farm, Blackacre, I have one last photo from our Christmas vacation. I can't seem to find it but I have a picture of myself in this same place (the entrance to our fabulous and very fancy farm) from when I was about 7 or 8 years old. One of the things I like least in life is leaving Blackacre. I usually cry a couple of pathetic tears as we leave so I decided to leave this time by having Alvaro take a picture of me smiling as we left. I'm smiling because I know we'll be back and it will just as wonderful every time I'm there. Now that my parents live nearby, it's extra wonderful to be there. Spending time with them is so meaningful and it's fun to be together for longer than just the weekend. I can pretend that Alvaro and I live at Blackacre and I can just drive a couple of miles to my parents place and hang out. I guess even adults can play make believe.

Lost in the river bottom

Maybe you're thinking I got lost over the Christmas holiday after our wild night of light gawking in Austin. I promise, I'm still existing on the face of this earth. It is so easy to get lost at the farm. We spent our days around Christmas at my sisters and then the day after Christmas came to Blackacre to spend a week sleeping in the cabin, taking walks to the Guadelupe and doing projects with my mom and dad. I've decided that my biggest achievement of 2007 is burning out a huge tree stump. Dad knew I would love that job so he saved it for me. Let's not talk about what that might say about me :)
I know I always write the same things about the farm but it's always true...I truly get my 'fix' in being in this place. The sounds, the sights and the answers I seem to find here. I know it's because all the other junk is out of my way and I can clearly hear what God has to say to me.
Anyway, I hope you all had a meaningful Christmas and that 2008 is full of growth, peace and love.

Feeling Green

So it's colder outside and I'm lamenting the absence of gardening activity. The morning glory vine is truly sad looking, the impatients are leggy and everything is looking wintery. I love living in Texas which provides an actual changing of seasons even if it does go from 85 to 55 in the course of one hour. It's just hard to see the back yard go from lush to SKELETOR. Very sad.

What that means is all the plants come indoors. So in the course of coming through the front door to stepping into the living room you've already passed 5 plants and you can see at least four more. I choose to surround myself in green. This either means I have a green thumb or I truly can't stand to not garden...even if it does mean just keeping plants alive indoors. Sometimes, since I'm fanatical about it, I just sit and look at the way the sunlight hits an ivy at a certain time of the day. There is an obsession about keeping things alive. I'll cut the plants down and watch to see what they do with their new growth.

As I was cutting a couple of closet plants back today I felt great guilt. Here they are killing themselves to thrive and I'm hacking away. They look naked but I have to get all that old growth off. Surely they can't do well in this dry manmade heat with all of last year's growth. Sometimes we all have to start fresh and see where we can go...just see how far we can go with a new outlook. It may be a new job, a new promise to be healthy or a renewed passion for our spirituality. At first we look naked and vulnerable...all our shoots sticking out...not pretty

Today, in preparation for the new year...think about what needs to be cut down and given a fresh opportunity for growth.

Renewed by cow bones and jack-o-lanterns

A weekend at the farm always does the trick when I've been working hard, thinking too hard and just need to re-focus. We returned last night from a three day weekend at Blackacre. We did all the things we do in October: pick up pecans, sit by the fire, sit in the sun by the river and usually a hike up the hill. I decided my friend Katy needed to experience the hill. In years past it was a much friendlier place but lately it's really grown up and become quite wild. There used to be a cave where we'd fine fox cubs and we used to try to transplant the flowering cactus. I knew we'd be in for an adventure but it was quite an amazing hike. Katy learned how to whistle with an acorn cap, we saw little horned spiders and then the icing!!!....we found the remains of a cow just as we began to decend. The bones were completely bleached so we could really inspect. Just as we thought we'd picked the ones she wanted to keep we spoted the pelvic bone. It is about two and a half feet high and two and half feet wide. Of course she couldn't live without it and she lugged that thing down the hill and then all the way back to the cabin. (We made into a pumpkin display rack for Katy's creation)

I always discover something new when I go to the farm but this time I was blessed with a rediscovery. I watched someone discover the place for the first time and relived my own joy of loving it for the first time. I've always had a special feeling for the people who taught me to whistle with an acorn cap, skip a rock on the river and find doodle bugs in the sand. This time I got to show someone those treasures. I think we should all be thinking of the things that are important to us and do what we can to pass those things on whether it be your traditions, your faith, your love of nature or music...anything. Just don't keep it to yourself.

Pecan Harvest and Girlie Time

It's that time of year to go to the farm and GET THE PECANS!!! Woo Hooooo! We get one chance each year to pick up all the pecans we can to last us till next fall. Heck, Christmas baking eats most of 'em up anyway. Of course I've packed my trusty Rocket Cracker so that when my back starts screaming from picking the things up we can sit down for a while and crack some. (One in the jar...one in my mouth)

But this year, there's an added bonus. I get to take my friend Katy. I guess I've known Katy since she was 8 or 9. We used to play the piano, laugh a lot about really silly stuff and I always go to her birthday party. This year I didn't get to go (which I hated). So I thought it would be fun to spend some time together...like a whole three-day weekend's worth :) No boys allowed this weekend. We'll do some roasting of marshmallows, driving of the tractor, smear some mud mask on our faces, picking of pecans, carving of pumpkins and generally having a relaxing time at the farm. The best part will be getting to know Katy again. I remember being 15 and perhaps I haven't grown up all that much so I know we're going to have a great time. ha! Thanks in advance Katy for helping me have a great, young and meaningful weekend.

Fading into the background

Look at this picture. Can you find the moth on the tree trunk? okay, I'll give you a minute.....I have no idea how I saw it as I walked by this tree but I was amazed by the size and doubly amazed at how a moth that big could blend in to its background. Even as I got a ladder, climbed up to its level and aimed my camera just inches away he didn't make a move.

Sometimes I find myself doing this. There is a big crowd of people...maybe even people I know, and I find myself just trying to be quiet and blend in to the background. Then I wonder, "Why wouldn't I want to be outgoing and talk to everyone?" I try to assess if I'm feeling down and somehow apart from people. I decide I'm not feeling that way at all. I just feel like being quiet and having a glass of punch by myself. I think sometimes we just like to observe which in itself is a very proactive activity. We can find a nice vantage point like this moth did and just watch and listen to the people around us. Listen to their exchanges, listen to their greetings to each other, listen to the kindness around us. It makes me smile to listen to other people laughing, telling each other about their weekends...who they saw; what they did.

There is amazing beauty in exchanges between human beings. Take notice of the people around you.

It Smells Like Worms!

So have you ever noticed that when it hasn't rained in a while and it suddenly comes a Texas sized downpour that the air and even the inside of most buildings smells like worms??? yuk! I remember recognizing that smell since forever. I knew that the earthworms had come out for the water and then end up getting dried up on the sidewalk cuz they didn't quite slime back into the dirt quickly enough. I also sensed that there been A LOT of rain...even if I didn't witness it.

Last night, one such downpour began and I guess didn't really let up till today around 11:30. There was that wonderful lightning and thunder, the sound of the rain on the roof that makes you want to sleep till again...forever. But ugh...those worms! I guess anytime there's a big cleansing rain...or re-thinking of things...or a new revelation...the smelly yucky stuff has to be washed out too.

Blackacre

If you know law terms, you will know that the word 'Blackacre' is an arbitrary name for a piece of land used for purposes of supposition in legal argument or the like. (Of course that's not how I talk, that's just what my dad told me) This is the name of our family's 116 acre pecan farm 17 miles east of Seguin, Texas on Hwy 90. Sometimes, when I'm feeling really exhausted from...well...life, this is the place where I feel my heart and soul really belong. We were blessed with a long weekend and Alvaro and I took the opportunity to be with my mom, dad and sister at Blackacre. While I was sitting next to the Guadelupe, I made a list of the things I had seen that day. See if you can get the picture of being in this place.

people eating bar-b-que

a river running high

wild grapes still on the vine in September

purple martins swarming

horses playing

cows grazing

a Scrabble board

lightening bugs

a rainbow

organized tools

many giant spiders and one gargantuan scorpion

snap beetles

rain & puddles

cardinals, hawks, finches & buzzards

roaring campfire

These things warm my heart in a way that not many things can do. Maybe it's the place. Maybe it's seeing God so clearly in those surroundings and in the life of a small town nearby. Maybe it's the feeling of accomplishment after the physical labor required to keep up with the little chores needing to be done around a farm. Sometimes it seems so simple...that life. It's that simplicity that is so often missing from the lives of those of us who are 'busy'. A reminder is many times all people need to put everything else into perspective.

I picked 17 pounds of those Mustang grapes on Sunday evening. I'm going to be making grape jelly for the rest of the week. I'm going to be exhausted and I'm going to love every minute of it! Let me know if you need some for your toast!

SF Day 5 - Wine Country and Hwy 1

Each day I think we've seen the greatest thing and then the next day comes. We were up and at 'em pretty early so the Enterprise guy could pick us up. Then we were off to Cakebread Cellers. I'm more of a beer girl than I am a wine girl but boy...was this a great experience!! Our tour started in the vineyard and ended at the outdoor grill where we tasted 5 wines...my favorite was the 2005 Napa Valley Chardonnay. The best part for me was learning about the earth, the plantings made over the vine roots to change the mineral make up of the soil, the natural climate, bug detection and removal techniques (of course I would find that amazing), and other issues dealing with the vineyard...Once we got into the pressing, fermentation process and such, I thought that that could just be left to the scientists and their french oak barrels. :) From my point of view, it's what happens to the grape while being nurtured by the earth that determines later on how it will measure up as a wine. So much depends upon it. (I'm doing the 'palms up measure action') What goes into making us what we are? How are we nurtured...can we nurture ourselves? Can we change our acidity? Can we alter the course of how sugary sweet we are?
I like to go to our farm in late July and pick the wild mustang grapes that grow all over the place. The jelly from this grape is amazing but I just get what I get. I never noticed before if the jelly ever tastes different from year to year. I know that the Cakebread wine makers would laugh till they tinkled if they tasted the Mustang Grape wine my uncle makes. Anyway, my question is...are we a wild mustang grape who will just end up how we end up or do we strive to improve ourselves with an effort to adjust and become 'fine'. I certainly don't mean to say that I think we should pretend to be someone we're not. I'm just sayin' that I think it's good to constantly recognize the need to improve and become better, nicer and more genuine individuals.
After Cakebread, we found our way over to Hwy 1 where we took an amazing drive all the way back down to San Francisco. On the way we saw incredible beaches, cliffs, some harrowing hairpin turns and lots of great looking oyster bars. Now we're taking a little rest before heading out to dinner at Aqua...I think it's pretty foo foo so I guess I have to change clothes.

Glory in the Morning

I tend to be a creature of habit. Some would even say stubborn and set in my ways (quiet Alvaro!) I'm highly aware of this, shall we say, negative personality trait and truly give it my best when it comes to the growth department and strive to be more flexible and bending. However, one thing that can throw my day into a horrible tailspin is if I don't get to start my day by spending at least 15 minutes in my back yard with my coffee and toast. I get up and with one eye open make the coffee. It's usually pretty early. Then I turn on the TV to see if it's going to rain or not. Then I turn on the oven and make toast and spread a little apple butter that my friend made me recently. Then I go outside, sit in the same chair that I always sit in and eat my breakfast. But there is one wonderful addition during the summertime. I get to count morning glory blooms. Yesterday from the size of the buds I saw, I predicted that I would have 11 blooms this morning...I HAD 17! I know what you're thinking...perhaps Rachel doesn't have enough to do. Perhaps Rachel should just get in the shower, get ready and go to work early if she has all this time on her hands...perhaps she should go to the gym! (bite your tongue!) I say, no way! I've tried that and it's just all wrong for me...and I've learned that in order to be the best person I can be I have to start the day out with a little quiet, a little thinking and maybe a little counting. The best way to appear to be a happy person is to be a happy person...no poser ever conviced anyone of anything for very long! In a society that tries to convice us that an overly busy person equals a person of worth, we can easily be pressured to participate in the constant sprint that surrounds us. Me?...I choose to predict and view 14 blooms before I leave for work tomorrow. Everyone around me will be the better for it!

Queen of Vogue!

This is my sister voguing in the hot, humid and buggy jungle in Belize. Yes, that's right, with a smile, a pose and more humor than I can muster...well...ever! We took a vacation together this summer, our first one with just the two of us. We have no other siblings and as time goes on, we just grow closer. What I appreciated most about the time we had together was the ease in which we could simply be in each other's midst. There is enough understanding of what our history is, what we think, what we believe and what we dream that there is a built-in basis for our relationship. I started thinking about this and wondered why it should be so different for people who have never known each other. Don't most people crave basically the same things??? Acceptance, love, respect, trust...why is it so tragically hard to recognize these needs in everyone we encounter no matter how differently they live, look and act. We say, "I can't talk to people I don't know because I don't know them" Huh? Fix that! We have to take a quick stock of how we as humans beings enjoy being treated and then mirror that. Now, if only I could mirror my sister and vogue like that!