Are you the Church Lady?

Since my arrival back to Dallas and my church slash job...I've worked my hiney off! This coming Sunday, September 9th, is a huge day in the life of this congregation. The third graders will be presented with the gift of a study Bible during worship, there are people planning on becoming members of the church during the 11:00 worship service, all the children move up a grade in their Sunday school classes and a partridge in a pear tree. AND, with the beginning of the school year, lots of other opportunities for growth ramp up as well...In-depth Studies for adults, children's choir rehearsals begin, the Rotunda theatre series is in full swing and our newest ministry, UrbanLife, is about to launch in a HUGE way with tons of new visitors and members of the church in new leadership positions. It's all very exciting.

I was thinking about my job and life here at the church and wondered what someone on the 'outside' of this place thinks when they hear me go on and on about church and faith and stuff. Do they assume I'm the Church Lady? Yes, I know, I worry too much about what other people think. But more than that, I worry that many Christians today have given Christianity a bad name. My biggest (and most egotistical) fear is that I will be equated with the "are-you-washed-in-the-blood-of-the-lamb" Christians who try to scare people into heaven or try to group people into "good" and "bad" lumps of faceless masses. The idea that I can only help dispel this idea of Christians is overwhelming. I cringe when I hear trite phrases like "Just give it to God" or "If it's God's will..." or my personal favorite, "Are you saved?" I think immediately of how these long practiced utterances sound to the non-Christian or to the undecided. This is language that life long church goers can spit out not realizing that it doesn't mean anything to one who hasn't decided for themselves what it means. It's almost like the language of a club.

From singer/songwriter: Damien Rice

"So why do you fill my sorrow

With the words you've borrowed

From the only place you've known

And why do you sing Hallelujah

If it means nothing to you

Why do you sing with me at all?"

I have no idea what Damien is really singing about but when I hear this chorus I think it sounds like someone has attempted to comfort someone else with some really well rehearsed words instead being a genuine person and truly having empathy. This is what I don't want to be. This is my reason for attending worship, studying scripture, being involved in a church family and practicing my faith as I understand it...so that I can strive to be a 'real' person and not just a product of a religion.

Anyway, that's my soapbox for the day and it's soooooo time to get off of it :)