Taking out the trash

It's Friday...trash day. I've gathered up the garbage from the bathroom, the kitchen, the yard....it's time to take it out. There is a sense of urgency because I think I hear the truck and if I miss it, the trash bags will have to sit in my garage and stink up the place until Tuesday...and that just can't happen, yuk! Actually, I started thinking about gathering up the trash last night hoping that I remembered this morning. It made me think about the fact that four of the seven days of the week I think about taking out the trash.

It made me wonder about emotional garbage. How much time to spend thinking about that? Most likely at least every day. We let it control us, occupy our every waking moment. Would life be better if once a week we intentionally thought about getting rid of the emotional junk that we don't need? And how do we get rid of it? Or maybe we just let it pile up for weeks without a thought. Man, it really does get ripe when we don't deal with it. Maybe at least once a week I should put all that rotten thinking and emotional stuff on an old paper towel, put it in with the potato peels and set it next to the curb with all the tangible junk. Each day is new even if the junk lingers. We get a brand new day to deal with it maybe in a new way - a more productive way. We get to choose not to be the victim of the junk.

Don't think I'm being trite, just try it once. Try writing down your biggest piece of trash and physically put in the kitchen garbage and leave it there. For added effect, watch the garbage man drive away with it :)

Dead Friendships

What is the most toxic ingredient that make a dead friendship? For me it's the lack of nourishment...and I'm guilty!! I get into my routines of work at the church and at home and don't create that time required to enrich friendships and prevent them from dying. I'll admit, there are those fews friendships where you just seem to pick up where you left off no matter how long it's been since you last talked but for the most part absence does not make the heart grow fonder.

This coming week I realize I have scheduled a little time almost every single day to visit with friends...over dinner, lunch, after work and on my 'precious' day off. It's a good thing to look forward to these moments and push my selfishness with my time to the back burner. Kind of freeing actually. It's not easy for me to do but I treasure friendships and want to be a good friend to those who are so important to me. I've been meaning to take this step for a long time and can't explain my sudden action but I'm sure glad it happened...maybe that prayer thing for growth and motivation is working :)

One friendship that I will really work on is with a good friend who is leaving our church staff for family leave in only one week. Rev. Alexandra Robinson has been on our staff for 5 years now and has chosen to take some time to be home with her 2 year old twin boys. Lucky for me, the Robinsons live close to us so I can easily continue to nurture that friendship and hopefully continue to be a big part of the boy's lives as they grow. The friendship with Alex has always been easy because we've worked closely toward a common goal at the church. Now it's exciting to think of that friendship existing just because.

This week, think of friend with whom you feel you need to reconnect and reach out to that person. Write a actual letter that you put in the mail or pick up the phone and schedule a time to get together. I'll bet it will be a blessing for you both.

The Devil Made Me Do It!

How many times have you heard this, thought this and embraced this thinking? We do something that later we realize (or realize it while we're doing the deed) it wasn't such a great thing. Or maybe we think it once we're caught and we're looking for a good excuse for having done it. Is 'the devil made me do it' a good way to divert the blame away from the source of the wrong or is it truly some natural force of evil that makes us do the things we wish we didn't do but continue to do? At what point do we finally take responsibility for ourselves and place recognition of weakness where it belongs?

This is a question I wrestle with often when I'm watching the news and hear some story about a murder, an abuse...an act that I believe goes against what God has in mind for us humans...a sin.

Often we hear about an abuser being abused themselves as a child and that person's current actions are then blamed on the parents. Or more specifically the story of the sports figure engaging in organizing and participating in dog fighting resulting in the injury, abuse and death of animals. One story goes that he grew up participating in this activity therefore he 'didn't know any better'. Or let's go even farther...adults who, as a result of a wrong done to them, end up abusing themselves with all kinds of destructive behavior all the while blaming the actions of those in their past for their current state of mind.

It seems to me that as we all grow, mature and stretch our understanding of self it is our own responsibility to name our own sin and weaknesses for what they are...OUR OWN SIN AND WEAKNESSES. Stop blaming everyone else and take a long close look at how you will decide to define yourself apart from everyone else and everything else...as an individual. Once we claim our behavior rather than allowing 'the past' to define it, our journey to freedom begins.

A girl's guide to surviving Monday

5:45 a.m., the alarm goes off and a song that brings bad memories is playing, you remember that yesterday the ac went out and you live in Texas and the highs are still in the 90s. You have to dress up and have a good hair day for an event so that means hair dryer. You finally get out of the house after two showers and a couple of fluff and buffs you get in the car and realize you have to stop and get gas. You get to work and the postage meter is jammed AND the copier is down and you're still a little tired from working 7:45 - 6:00 on a Sunday. You're computer is slow and people are awaiting your approval on stuff that has to go to print yesterday. Take a deep breath, get something cold to drink and continue on to the next thing.

Go to lunch with Channel 8 and negotiate cost for this year's Live Christmas Eve worship. Realize you really like your rep. She's kinda fun...hmmm...maybe we should hang out more and talk about girl stuff...marriage, jobs, faith, why my clothes don't fit, our husbands, how we deal with the need for control and what place in life and in our faith that really holds. Go back to church, check hair and makeup for participation in the stewardship video...worry way too much about how you look, feel bad about that. Complete filming, go to the bathroom and notice big zit on your nose. Look around for the cameras from PUNKED. Say you don't care and go back to your office to respond to emails and voice mails. Actually, what great emails...from people who visited the church yesterday...lots of great correspondence...lots of great questions.

You know...in the midst of this truly hysterical day (isn't it after all, just funny, when a day like this happens to you) lots of great stuff can be found as well. I actually don't mind that it's 87 in my house right now since I have 5 fans and a tall glass of iced tea. Is it really so bad in the big scheme of things? I think not! It's not always an easy struggle to make the decision that it was a good day but today was a good day. I've decided!

Fall Plantings

It's Friday...the day I take care of things around the house that I don't get to do all week. Errands to the grocery store, laundry, chores...the stuff that requires a large block of time that we don't have during the workweek. What I really want to do today is go the Home Depot, buy 6 bags of potting soil and some nice fall plants and spend the morning replanting the flowerbed around the sweetgum in the front yard. That sounds like much more fun than doing the laundry and cleaning the bathrooms.

Spring has always been the symbol of new beginnings, freshness and renewal. In the home we even call it 'spring cleaning'. But what about Fall? There is a new freshness in the air, children start a new year of school and there just a new crispness all around us. The children get new notebooks, pens, glue, paper...on my new book cover I would practice writing, 'Mrs. Alvaro Jose Martinez Cabal' about a hundred times ha! New friends, new teachers...Fall is just a time for new stuff, physically and mentally. Maybe I'm just looking for an excuse to play outside but Fall Plantings and the new beginning that represents for me seems much more attractive.

So, if we're going to think of Fall as a time for new beginnings, what is the next step? I'll have to go farther than putting new plants in the flowerbeds. I need to look for more ways to take advantage of this opportunity. At our church there is an abundance of new studies and new opportunities for giving and volunteering my time. Opportunities for me to grow and maybe even make a difference in the lives of others. These opportunities are laying around everywhere...not just at the church. Our communities are full of people who could used some care and compassion. Let us all think of how we can take this season and make it meaningful...we don't have to wait for the new year for a new beginning. Plant something this fall!

eeeeek! A Mouse!

While enjoying my coffee this morning, I saw something I don't like to see...well, maybe it was kind of cute. A mouse was nibbling his way along the edge of fence acting like I wasn't even there. ewwww. or maybe...awwwww. I can't decide. Growing up I spent lots of time at my Nana and Papaw's house in the country. There were always mice in the field, mice in the peanut hay in the barn and yes, mice in the house. So it follows that there were mouse traps. The kind that go 'snap' and you immediately know someone's going to have to go take the deceased to the trash pit. My papaw was elated to hear that sound. I always cried. After all mice are kinda of cute with their little wiggly nose and quick way of darting here and there and I hated the thought that a living thing had just ceased living.

So what do I do about the mouse in my back yard? I have some poison in the garage. I could put a little square on the path he's taking. But then he'll eat it, get thirsty and go into the alley to die and then my neighbor's will call me and laughingly accuse me of murder. I'm an animal lover and am amazed by all life forms but I still have this equation of mice=filth. I don't think I was born with the innate knowledge that 'girls don't like mice' but it's there...that need to jump on the patio furniture and scream. I was trained to possess the eeeeek factor. Last fall I alone killed at least 4 mice and I think I feel remorse. I'm going to let this mouse live his little mouse life in my back yard...I can't bring myself to hurt him. Yes, I'm a tree hugger and I'd probably make a great Buddist in regard to living things but it all boils down to that fact that that mouse is just so darn cute.

As I went back outside after the first sighting this morning, I found that I was actually looking for him and hoping to see him again. Oh well, probably a neighborhood cat will get into the back yard and end the issue altogether. In the meantime, I will embrace the idea of 'mouse' and make that decision that girls don't have to hate mice. Ahhhh...freedom :)

In Honor of 1st Lt. James Leonard Knobles

37 years ago today, my father was killed in the Vietnam War. I was only two years old and in being honest with myself, I know in my heart that I don't remember him. But I feel like I did know him because of all his friends and family who always answer my many questions about his love for my mother, his philosophies, his faith, his love for his country and just what type a person he was. Today, my Grannie and I were emailing and talking about my dad...her eldest son. It's a very hard day for her but we get through it by talking about my dad and always end up smiling and having a peaceful heart. Today I told my Grannie that I think that if my dad were living we would argue a lot about politics, religion, social issues and such. Grannie said he was much like my Grandpa and boy did he and I go at it. Always with a love and respect but we didn't see eye on too many issues...only that we loved each other very much which I suppose made all the arguing mute. Really I guess it was more of just a hobby for us to debate (that's a much better word) all the sticky issues.

But today, I remember my father's life with an admiration, some sense of awe and a thankfulness for his willingness and bravery to fight in a very unpopular war. I think of all the men and women who today are beling compared to the men and women who fought in Vietnam. Whatever your stance on the whole issue it all comes down to loving those who are that brave and selfless. Whether a war is right or wrong doesn't change that strong character possessed by those in harm's way.

September 11th is a dark day...because of what happened in our country 6 years ago and because of my father's death. We're allowed dark days and I believe encouraged to dwell, just for that day, so that we always remember those who have gone on before.

Playful!!

Before I met Alvaro's parents in Colombia, I met his brother Ciro. When his parents asked, "What is she like?" he said, "Rachel is a female Alvaro". And I think he was right. We are both pretty goofy and we play off each other's silliness . Does that mean soul mate? I don't know but I do know that Alvaro and I have tons of fun together! Here is a video from our recent vacation to California. The reason I stop filming was because Alvaro started getting really nervous about how close I was to the edge of the cliff where we were standing.

Laughing, having fun and not being afraid of being silly is a huge part of our relationship. It's so freeing to have someone who won't ever think I'm strange or immature...actually I guess we both embrace our inner child. And that's true for arguments too. Sometimes adults are childish in our rants, selfishness and sense of entitlement.

I recently saw a blog post talking about letting go of ego so that we can blurt more building up language than tearing down language. Seeing other people participate in behavior that I often take part in helps me to just accept that we are all human and imperfect...and more able to forgive and overlook hurts and perceived emotional injuries more readily. We all have 'things' we are working on and personal paths to betterment...I think we should all be a little more patient and allow the people around us a environment to grow without us always pointing out the wrongs and flaws. The growth will take place much more quickly for everyone. hmmmm......

My Favorite Sounds

Here's a fun thing to do...(yes, it's my day off and I'm having a great day!)

Think about your day and what you encountered...be silent and listen. What did you hear? Then make a list of your favorites...what made you smile. these are my favorite sounds...

my husband's voice
canning jar lids popping
our church organ (especially when Tim is playing Bach or A Mighty Fortress)
a hummingbird buzzing
a lawnmower
a river rushing
thunder
the ocean
locusts and crickets chirping
mockingbirds pretending they're something they're not :)
steel drums
a fire popping
the end of a wet towel making contact with a friend's rear end ha!
The Stones
...and much more

A day off and alone is precious in the midst of life, work, relationship and expectations. I'm so appreciative of these moments...time to be be quiet and productive in the way I like best...sound selfish? Maybe. But it's a blessing I will never take for granted. Even if I had decided to sleep this day away, it would be the way I had decided to spend it and that's okay too. Love every moment!!

Blessing of the Animals

I've been working with our new associate minister, Rev. Kathryn Ransdell on a launch event for our newest ministry here at FUMC Dallas...It's called UrbanLife. Soon the website will be up and full of exciting information...When it's ready I will add it to my favorites so you'll have easy access...

In the meantine, Kathryn has been working diligently to build this new ministry that focuses on young professionals living in Downtown and Uptown Dallas...our immediate parish. The launch event for UrbanLife is the Blessing of the Animals which will happen on Sunday, October 7th at 5:30 p.m. in Reverchon Park on the Katy Trail. Members and non members of the church will bring their pets to the park and there will be a mass blessing of the ones that are a blessing to so many humans. The ministers will be in their robes, the SPCA will be there with opportunities for us to adopt animals and of course plastic pools for splashing (the pets, not the humans...unless you want us to point and laugh.) Just a good and meaningful time for all.

Some may say, "How can the church feel good about spending money on a ceremony that focuses on muts, cats and whatever else people put on the end of a leash?!" I've actually heard that a lot. But let's think about this. In introducing people to a church congregation...what SHOULD be our focus? Do we need the event to be "churchy"? Should our T-shirts have John 3:16 glowing in neon green with a WWJD just below that?? (hmmm...looks this is a continuation of yesterday blog entry) Or can we simply have an event where we can serve and love and meet new people.

I think people are just people and we all should relate to each as just....people...People who have pets (or not), enjoy the outdoors and might also enjoy experiencing a church family who is made up of normal people of all kinds. As I said yesterday, we 'churchies' (ha, a new word) need to be particularly in tune with how we present Christ. Will Christ be introduced as judging and unapproachable or as loving and accepting. We get to choose that in our words and actions. So whether you believe all pets go to heaven or not (shame if you don't ha!) come to the Blessing of the Animals for an amazing moment of fellowship, fun and blessings!

Are you the Church Lady?

Since my arrival back to Dallas and my church slash job...I've worked my hiney off! This coming Sunday, September 9th, is a huge day in the life of this congregation. The third graders will be presented with the gift of a study Bible during worship, there are people planning on becoming members of the church during the 11:00 worship service, all the children move up a grade in their Sunday school classes and a partridge in a pear tree. AND, with the beginning of the school year, lots of other opportunities for growth ramp up as well...In-depth Studies for adults, children's choir rehearsals begin, the Rotunda theatre series is in full swing and our newest ministry, UrbanLife, is about to launch in a HUGE way with tons of new visitors and members of the church in new leadership positions. It's all very exciting.

I was thinking about my job and life here at the church and wondered what someone on the 'outside' of this place thinks when they hear me go on and on about church and faith and stuff. Do they assume I'm the Church Lady? Yes, I know, I worry too much about what other people think. But more than that, I worry that many Christians today have given Christianity a bad name. My biggest (and most egotistical) fear is that I will be equated with the "are-you-washed-in-the-blood-of-the-lamb" Christians who try to scare people into heaven or try to group people into "good" and "bad" lumps of faceless masses. The idea that I can only help dispel this idea of Christians is overwhelming. I cringe when I hear trite phrases like "Just give it to God" or "If it's God's will..." or my personal favorite, "Are you saved?" I think immediately of how these long practiced utterances sound to the non-Christian or to the undecided. This is language that life long church goers can spit out not realizing that it doesn't mean anything to one who hasn't decided for themselves what it means. It's almost like the language of a club.

From singer/songwriter: Damien Rice

"So why do you fill my sorrow

With the words you've borrowed

From the only place you've known

And why do you sing Hallelujah

If it means nothing to you

Why do you sing with me at all?"

I have no idea what Damien is really singing about but when I hear this chorus I think it sounds like someone has attempted to comfort someone else with some really well rehearsed words instead being a genuine person and truly having empathy. This is what I don't want to be. This is my reason for attending worship, studying scripture, being involved in a church family and practicing my faith as I understand it...so that I can strive to be a 'real' person and not just a product of a religion.

Anyway, that's my soapbox for the day and it's soooooo time to get off of it :)

Blackacre

If you know law terms, you will know that the word 'Blackacre' is an arbitrary name for a piece of land used for purposes of supposition in legal argument or the like. (Of course that's not how I talk, that's just what my dad told me) This is the name of our family's 116 acre pecan farm 17 miles east of Seguin, Texas on Hwy 90. Sometimes, when I'm feeling really exhausted from...well...life, this is the place where I feel my heart and soul really belong. We were blessed with a long weekend and Alvaro and I took the opportunity to be with my mom, dad and sister at Blackacre. While I was sitting next to the Guadelupe, I made a list of the things I had seen that day. See if you can get the picture of being in this place.

people eating bar-b-que

a river running high

wild grapes still on the vine in September

purple martins swarming

horses playing

cows grazing

a Scrabble board

lightening bugs

a rainbow

organized tools

many giant spiders and one gargantuan scorpion

snap beetles

rain & puddles

cardinals, hawks, finches & buzzards

roaring campfire

These things warm my heart in a way that not many things can do. Maybe it's the place. Maybe it's seeing God so clearly in those surroundings and in the life of a small town nearby. Maybe it's the feeling of accomplishment after the physical labor required to keep up with the little chores needing to be done around a farm. Sometimes it seems so simple...that life. It's that simplicity that is so often missing from the lives of those of us who are 'busy'. A reminder is many times all people need to put everything else into perspective.

I picked 17 pounds of those Mustang grapes on Sunday evening. I'm going to be making grape jelly for the rest of the week. I'm going to be exhausted and I'm going to love every minute of it! Let me know if you need some for your toast!