Do you remember when you were about 12 to 16 years old and an adult who hadn't seen you in a while would say, "You're growing like a weed!" I remember thinking that I didn't feel like I had changed all that much but realized, I saw myself every day and wouldn't notice any big changes in my appearance. All youth experience growth spurts where it seems like their stomachs are bottomless pits and they experience actual pain as their bones elongate and their bodies stretch into more adult-like beings. In addition to the physical changes there are the emotional changes. To one degree or another there is teenage angst! The figuring out...The wondering why...the fighting rage against authority as we find our independance. It's a huge transformation at that time in everyone life...we've all experienced it.
Today is Fat Tuesday or as I'm already aware, the day before Ash Wednesday. Tomorrow is the day that begins our 40 days of painful growth. It's strange to imagine that any season of the church year should or could be painful and I'm certainly not advocating that we dread this time. My thoughts lean more toward honest reflection and thorough examination as we prepare for the celebration of Easter. My challenge each year is to find the exercise which will bring me the most awareness of God...will help me best hear God speaking to me about God's love for me and which direction I should face when thinking about personal growth and closeness to God and the resulting love I can exhibit to those who are hurting or are in need. It may be through an organized Lenten study. It could be through quiet reflection each day with journaling. It could be experienced in a dedicated time of silence and meditation in which we listen intently to the inner voice through which God speaks.
The painful part is the intense act of facing myself and bringing forth those parts of me with which I am dissatified. The parts of me that worry, distrust, seek to control and are selfish. I know when I'm on the other side of this Lenten journey I will have experienced a growth spurt. If we fully participate in this preparation we will have grown and could possibly suprise ourselves in our outcome. We could look into the mirror and exclaim, "Wow, You've grown like a weed!"
My challenge today is that we all decide to engage and participate in this opportunity to discover, grow and become as we prepare for the season of Easter.
2 comments:
Looking at yourself, without the little illusions we have to protect our own ego, is a painful growing process.
What do I fear?
What do I do to protect myself at the expense of others?
Who do I think of when giving or serving? Myself or others or both?
What would my life look like if I believed all the promises of God?
What fears would I need to overcome to live my life in such a way?
It is difficult. However, living any other way is a waste of spirit.
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