Got that 'fed up' feeling!?!?!?

So here's what happens when you get back to work after a week of not working...you clear off 150 emails regarding free degrees, people wanting you to be the heir to their greatgrandfather's uncle's son's wife's fortune and some other unmentionable topics regarding enhancement. Then you get a good look at the stuff that went wrong that you were ultimately responsible for. Then the post vacation blues really hit when you realize that it's going to be this way until at least Thanksgiving...but then you say, "Hey, wait a minute. I'm on the staff of a downtown church and Lent and Christmas worships, studies and activities are just around the corner..." Aghhhhhhhh! And don't forget about the Chili Cook off that's after the first of the year!!! Wow, I gotta get a grip! I don't know who that little girl in the picture is but boy does her face embody my feelings right now. What to do, what to do???
Okay, take a deep breath, get that look off your face and get it together! How does one get it together when all you want to do is let it all fall apart? First, get something to drink (no, I'm only suggesting some hot tea or something, geez!) Now, take full advantage of the organizational qualities that God so generously bestowed upon you. Next, take a deep breath and repeat after me..."It's okay to be fed up but GET OVER YOURSELF ALREADY!"
Like every other feeling and emotion we have, it's healthy for only so long. God gave us every emotion we have (yeah, a present!) but we have to use the free will God gave us and recognize when we need to move on to the next more productive emotion. I'm pretty sure that when we feel stuck, it's our own doing. We often feel like victims of our emotions...sadness, anger, being fed up. But how can we function when we roll around in the scent of these emotions. They just get even more stuck on us and it's that much harder to shake it off. So, now I must go and shake this off by brewing some ginger tea, taking a quick walk around downtown and then try to get started again...you try it too :)

I'm leaving on a jet plane...

Well, the party is over. Naw, we actually just discussed last night that we're ready to be home now. We came, we saw, we ate...man did we eat. I feel like a glutton, eating food that my body didn't need. I can't wait to get to the grocery store and buy the foods that make me feel healthy: yogurt, fresh fruit, skim milk, a little turkey and all the stuff I need for my lunches for the work week. Ahhh, the work week. Don't tell anyone cuz they might think me a little touched...but I'm ready to get back to work. I know there are people waiting to learn about FUMC Dallas, waiting to schedule baptisms, projects to be completed...and just as when any one staff person has been on vacation, the rest of my co-workers will be so ready for me to come back and deal with my stuff.
Just as I mentioned in a previous post, too much vacation and entertainment makes Rachel selfish and spoiled. I'm starting to crave that need for meaning and to be a part of the amazing things that happen in life...not just the pretty things that happen in life. I think this might be a good indication that I did what I set out to do on vacation...REST.
So...just a little more packing, one more quick trip to Chinatown and then we wait for the shuttle dude :) Thanks for sharing our vacation with us. Next post source: Dallas, Texas (I always get a little warm in my heart when I step back on that Texas soil...even if it is Yankee Texas. ha!)

I DO NOT RUN!!!!

Yesterday I asked Alvaro what has been his favorite part of our vacation so far. I was expecting maybe one of the many wonderful meals we've enjoyed, or maybe the shopping. Perhaps he was in love with a particular landmark or building. As I waited for his answer I became more excited to hear what he had to say. He finally decided that his favorite part of the vacation so far were the words of an tiny older woman to her dear husband as they crossed an intersection..."I DO NOT RUN!!!" We both got the giggles to hear this demur looking little lady telling her husband how it was gonna go. I realized though that her stress was my stress. San Francisco has those crosswalk signals that have the little blue/white neon person making for the other side of the street. But the minute he blinks on...the countdown to impact begins. 20, 19, 18, 17, 16.....and so it goes. So this little lady, being pulled onward by her husband just wasn't having it and took her sweet time getting across the busy intersection. Good boundaries I say!! Good for you lady.
I guess the people we've encountered this week have been a big part of my experience as well. Yesterday, we drove from San Francisco along Hwy 1 south to Carmel. I especially loved Santa Cruz where we found Emily's Bakery. Emily has a very Austinish establishment where she serves all things coffee and chai as well as fresh sandwiches, salads and all natural ready to heat snacks and stuff.
Not a big post today. I'm feeling tired and to be honest kinda ready for my real life to start again. I'm missing my regular surroundings, my morning routine, my church and the familiar faces of friends and family. A little later today, we'll head back down to Fisherman's Wharf for the crab I didn't eat the other day and then tomorrow, before we go the airport, we'll take one last trip through Chinatown. Peace to everyone and I look forward to seeing you all soon.

SF Day 5 - Wine Country and Hwy 1

Each day I think we've seen the greatest thing and then the next day comes. We were up and at 'em pretty early so the Enterprise guy could pick us up. Then we were off to Cakebread Cellers. I'm more of a beer girl than I am a wine girl but boy...was this a great experience!! Our tour started in the vineyard and ended at the outdoor grill where we tasted 5 wines...my favorite was the 2005 Napa Valley Chardonnay. The best part for me was learning about the earth, the plantings made over the vine roots to change the mineral make up of the soil, the natural climate, bug detection and removal techniques (of course I would find that amazing), and other issues dealing with the vineyard...Once we got into the pressing, fermentation process and such, I thought that that could just be left to the scientists and their french oak barrels. :) From my point of view, it's what happens to the grape while being nurtured by the earth that determines later on how it will measure up as a wine. So much depends upon it. (I'm doing the 'palms up measure action') What goes into making us what we are? How are we nurtured...can we nurture ourselves? Can we change our acidity? Can we alter the course of how sugary sweet we are?
I like to go to our farm in late July and pick the wild mustang grapes that grow all over the place. The jelly from this grape is amazing but I just get what I get. I never noticed before if the jelly ever tastes different from year to year. I know that the Cakebread wine makers would laugh till they tinkled if they tasted the Mustang Grape wine my uncle makes. Anyway, my question is...are we a wild mustang grape who will just end up how we end up or do we strive to improve ourselves with an effort to adjust and become 'fine'. I certainly don't mean to say that I think we should pretend to be someone we're not. I'm just sayin' that I think it's good to constantly recognize the need to improve and become better, nicer and more genuine individuals.
After Cakebread, we found our way over to Hwy 1 where we took an amazing drive all the way back down to San Francisco. On the way we saw incredible beaches, cliffs, some harrowing hairpin turns and lots of great looking oyster bars. Now we're taking a little rest before heading out to dinner at Aqua...I think it's pretty foo foo so I guess I have to change clothes.

Vacation in San Francisco - Day 4

Well, I did it! I walked through the stories, history, myths and ghosts of Alcatraz. I felt like a kid in a candy store just sucking up every bit of information I could get my hands on. The ride over to the island was fun in itself. We rode on the top level of a triple deck boat and got a great view of the whole island as we circled before docking. The place where prisoners set foot on the island is exactly where it always was and the breathtaking trek up to the cell house is just as it always was. I'm not one for concerning myself too much with thoughts of ghosts and spirits but man...when I went into an isolation cell for just a little minute...I got chills as I thought of the men and how this place must have broken spirits. Now I'm not saying they didn't deserve their punishment. I heard many stories of murder, rape, theft, tax evasion and many other things that make me angry and hostile. But I also heard stories of men who started their lives as brilliant young students who did good deeds simply because their mama said "Do good deeds". But just as so many young people do, they fell victim to the streets and the pressures to 'succeed' and be 'respected'. As I grow older the idea that everyone has complete control over their success and ability to steer clear of trouble seems to be a little more diluted. Anyway, where was I??? Oh yes...Rachel behind bars. I can now check Alcatraz off the list of things I want to do before I can't travel due to age and meanness. ha! After the freezing trip back to San Francisco, we walked back to Little Italy and at The Stinking Rose. Delish! and revolting! Tomorrow is the trip through Napa and Sonoma. We have reservations at one winery and the others we'll just hit as we see 'em.

San Francisco - Day 3

Okay...so now I'm getting the hang of being on vacation. slept till 7:00, was at the Starbucks by 8:30 and on a trolley going to the Aquarium on the Bay by 9:00. I was a little disappointed in the aquarium. I was totally expecting to see and learn everything about sea otters (which are one of the most adorable creatures God could have some up with). However, it wasn't a total bust since I got to touch a ray and a leopard shark...After that we took a nice long time at Fisherman's Wharf where we saw some great seafood (which we'll eat later), the sourdough factory and then it was off to the Ghiradelli Chocolate Factory. Now we are resting a bit before our 6:00 p.m. ferry trip and tour of Alcatraz. That is what I have been looking forward to the most. The trip should take about two hours after which I'm sure we are going to be STARVING...Conveniently we have another walk planned to Little Italy where we will eat at The Stinking Rose...in the 'garlic room' of course. We've walked to Little Italy both nights and I completely expect Tony Soprano to pass me on the street. In my mind he would remove the cigar from his lips, give me the Latin head tip/chin point and the grin and then just keep on walking his cool walk right on down the street...probably to get a canoli (Oooo! I know a great place for those). Being on vacation is an unusual feeling. I'm tempted many times to think that it would be wonderful to have nothing to do but discover, eat new things, wait around in an airport (wait, not that part). But then what would be my actual place among society? Would I actually lose my sense of being a part of God's world? Would I become so self absorbed in what will entertain me next that I could no longer be a servant? To be honest, that sounds kinda good. I know it wouldn't work though and I'd start to take the state of 'being on vacation' for granted. Okay, that's all for now. I'll write again in the morning some time...whenever I decide to get up.

Day 2 in San Francisco

The thing I have marveled about most since we've arrived in SF is the amazing climate. The air is cool and the breeze is refreshing...but we're not cold and sitting in the sun for hours is extremely comfortable. We talked to a man who was selling his photography on the street and he said the warmest time is during September. For breakfast we went to the have the World Famous Mini Pancakes at Sears Fine Food. go to www.searsfinefood.com for some great history. Then it was off to shopping and seeing. Why am I still so amazed that no matter where I go in the world, 'getting' and 'acquiring' is the most popular tourist attraction. Prada, Macy's, Juicy, Old Navy, Coach...you can get anything you want. The mega stores look just like the ones in Dallas, Minneapolis, Chicago...everywhere! People making purchases is what I have seen most (except for the actual 'Starbucks on every corner'...no, really, on EVERY corner). We had lunch at Taylor's Automatic Refreshment...great place for burgers and all things sandwich. I also had the onion rings and Alvaro had the garlic herb fries...oh yes and I very much enjoyed a Hard Cider brewed right here in California. Tomorrow night is the trip to Alcatraz...just seeing it yesterday from Pier 39 was amazing...I can't wait to get there tomorrow and see what I wrote a multitude of book reports about in elementary school and Jr. High.
I'm realizing during this trip that my blog entries aren't so very inspiring but I guess you just have to care what I'm up to all week in order to keep reading. My biggest issue is trying not to think about work and worrying about all the stuff I have to do when I get back. So many new and interesting things are coming up at FUMC Dallas but I just can't be thinking about that right now :)...only vacation thoughts!! More tomorrow.

Are you going to San Francisco - a la Scott McKenzie

Okay, so I wasn't even born yet...but oh how I should have been. I should have lived in San Francisco in 1967 and been able to travel to Monterrey to see Janis and Jimi. But I wasn't. What an awesome place. We've only been here one day and already I'm overwhelmed with amazing people, food, CULTURE, history...We got off the plane today and went straight to China Town to a restaurant that was started in 1920. I had bean sprout Chow Mein. On the walls of the place were these amazing pictures from the '60 of what looks like some neighborhood girls who were coming into society. Then we were off to the ferry pier where I found some great coffee and Alvaro drooled over the meats, cheeses and gelato. How can so many wonderful smells and foods be in one place? Only a poetic collision of cultures can create this experience. We walked down to Pier 39 and watched the Sea Lions for about 30 minutes. They are hysterical...there were maybe 100 Sea Lions barking, swimming, sunning and what seemed like play fighting over who gets to be on the floating platforms. Then we rode the streetcar back to the hotel, changed and went to Little Italy where we had some great dinner. Tomorrow, we're not setting the alarm but will just wake up when we wake up. also, maybe a little more sunblock tomorrow...feeling a little cooked! nighty night.

Packing Day!!

It's early Friday morning...my day off. But boy, do I have a lot to do in preparation for our vacation tomorrow. I haven't packed a thing yet, I need to sell my books at Half Price and find a couple more books, clean the house a little (can't stand coming home to a mess) and give the keys to the house to the neighbors. I'm a pretty light packer but it takes a while to plan what I'll need. Especially for San Francisco. I've never been but have had plenty of lectures about packing for warm AND cool weather. Even with an effective list of what to pack I always have to remember the emotional stuff to pack:
1. A willingness to relax
2. A determination to see God in the scenery and everyone I encounter
3. Undivided attention to making memories with my husband
4. A clear vision of the goal of recharging by batteries.
How many times do we come home from vacation and say, "I need a vacation from my vacation". I doubt that that's because we are physically tired from our activities. I believe it's more because we forgot to actually take a vacation from our everyday worries, concerns and expectations. It's a time to just be in the midst of new scenery and redefine our place in this life. I hope to have many new revelations during our time in San Francisco. Please tune in to this blog during the next week...now, where are my binoculars???

Ode to a Friend - David Coward

Our congregation has lost a new and dear friend. A new member of First United Methodist Church, Dallas (joined on Father's Day) died suddenly late Tuesday night. He was so excited about his new journey in this faith family and had even agreed to my challenge of working closely with me in the Evangelism efforts here at FUMC Dallas. During the last couple of months, many lunches were had, histories shared and visions dreamed for the ministries here. So why, I ask myself, is he suddenly gone? Today I met his family and experienced their grief. A very close friend of his is hurting too. In situations like these, I always try to find my place in the big picture. Especially now, when I feel so affected by the loss. With my constant need to put everything in it's neat little place, this just doesn't work well for me. I can't see the meaning in it. What I do believe is that given some time, I still won't see the meaning in it but will find a way to integrate this loss into the understanding of my life. My prayer today is for the family and close friends of David as we all travel the long road of recovery from this loss.

Dang! I need a VACATION!

...which is a good thing since we have one coming up. While traveling in the United States, I've never been west of Vegas which is why I'm so very excited about this coming Saturday. Alvaro and I are flying to San Francisco and will get to explore, eat, play and discover for one whole week. If you know anything about me you know that I've already planned out the things I HAVE to see before we can come home on the 25th. Here's what I can't miss:

1. Alcatraz (can't explain my strange fascination with this place and it's history)

2. China Town (again...the history and the people)

3. The wine country (gonna sample some good stuff)

4. Otters and sea lions

5. Worship at Glide Memorial United Methodist Church (a preacher friend told me not to miss it)

6. ...and lots of stuff I don't even know about yet.

Vacation is a time to recharge, discover (locations, ways of thinking and mindsets) and live. No matter how much we love what we do, we HAVE to take advantage of that moment of escape and other placeness (yep, just made up a word). Whether it's a week or a simple mental health day, make time to take care of yourself so that you can be the best servant you can be.

Inspiration unintended

I'm not any sort of an art connoisseur nor have I ever been trained in art history or art analysis. So just because this is the second piece of art I've discussed on my blog....well...don't get any ideas that I'm cultured. ha! I grew up in Pasadena, Texas going church with my family at Sharon Lutheran Church. We always went to Sunday school before worship so my mom, dad, sister and I entered the building through the education and fellowship hall area (this was also the quickest route to the coffee and donuts). This painting is the very first thing I saw every Sunday after walking through the doors. I never knew who the artist was, when it was created or even what it was supposed to mean. But over the years, after having gazed at it Sunday after Sunday, I came to realize that I LOVED the thing. The colors, the way Christ looks so exhausted yet still in complete command of his love for the world, the light rays beaming down on the bay...I decided that the artist must be some kind of spiritually advanced person to reflect this picture of Christ's love. And I admired Dali throughout the rest of my high school years, college years and so on. About 5 months ago, I saw a program on the Gallery Channel about The Christ of St. John of the Cross by Salvador Dali. I finally learned all about Dali, his life, his darkness, his torture and his undertanding of his faith. I have to say that I felt complete relief in my new knowledge. I might have been disappointed to learn that the inspiration I always felt from the Christ of St. John of the Cross came from such a sinister place but I was instead inspired anew. Being witness to God saying amazing things through less than amazing people only cements my understanding of God's power and gives me, a regular person, the courage to go out there and see what God might say through me. I think we should all stop waiting around for ourselves to reach some certain level of 'spiritual perfection' and just say "I'm ready God. Use me now!"

Family

What is family? My husband's little sister, Beatriz Elena, better known to us all as Nena (the little one), is in town from Cali, Colombia: the same city in which my husband, Alvaro, grew up. Being with his family always brings to me a sense of worldliness...they would laugh at my saying that but I grew up pretty sheltered and not learning much about other cultures. When Alvaro and I are visiting his family in Colombia, we are treated like a king and queen. Not only by his family but by the 'people' of the city and the country. I only thought I was a hospitable person until I first visited. Much that I incorporate into my understanding of Christ's love I get from the Latino understanding of and practice of hospitality . Everything is done with an incredible respect for the recipient and with no expectation of anything in return...only the satisfaction that their guest is "contento"...satisfied...content :) We don't get to see Nena very often and I can't wait for her to stay in our home later in the week. We will have the honor of providing a happy place for her to sleep, visit, laugh, eat and build her family relationships. Welcome Beatriz Elena...mi hermana!!!

From Bad to Worse to Better

Tomorrow morning I have to go to the podiatrist. I really don't want to because I know I have to get a shot in my foot. My foot hurts now but it's going to hurt way worse after the shot but just for a day or so. After that, it's going to feel GREAT!!! I think sometimes our physical pains play out in much the same way as our emotional pains. In my own life I know I've experienced that. Especially when I'm trying to make some sort of improvement to myself. Let's say, just hypothetically mind you, that I am a stubborn person...just for kicks. If I were stubborn and wanted to improve in this area, I'll bet that I would first become more stubborn before I began to see a difference. I would fight the change with all my gumption and strength...after all, aren't our attributes what make us up...an inherent part of our personalities? Maybe that is why it has to get worse before it gets better. Growing pains are both physical and emotional but the final product is something in which we rejoice. We rejoice in our own progess, growth and improvement...I guess that's worth a little discomfort. BRING IT ON DOC!!

Free Stuff

I have in my wallet one of my favorite things...a Target gift card. I got it for my birthday and now it's been there for almost a month. I have to think really hard about what I want with my free stuff card. Hmmm...what should I get? I always say I don't really need anything which of course if I only bought things because I needed them, I would be spending my gift card on toilet paper, toothpaste and shampoo. (typical) I could get a cosmetic or beauty product that I would never spend money on otherwise. Or I could find a CD I like. Or maybe one of those handy dandy new disposable toilet bowl cleaners...No wait! I'm back to stuff I need. Actually, who really needs that new toilet bowl cleaning wand...just get your dang toilet bowl brush, use it and rinse it! Brother...just another thing for us to buy. Oh sorry, back to what I should buy with my free stuff card.

I think the most fun part of getting a gift card is knowing that you're about to get something for nothing. I think that's why I keep it my purse for so long...it prolongs the excitement of the free gift. I didn't really do anything to deserve the card, it was just my birthday. I wish I could have that same excitement all the time in regard to the free gift of grace I have. I know I have this free gift from God but I'm not always very good at remembering it much less giving thanks for it or remembering my full worth because of it. I think I'll print a wallet sized card that says, "GRACE", lamenate it and stick it in my wallet. That should do the trick! Now, I'm off to the Target. woo hoo