Calm after the storm

The morning...6:00 on a Saturday. All is lovely and calm and I wake in peace and make the coffee. Next...meditation and Bible study. There are moments of question, wonder and peace. Then for the list of Saturday things...chores, correspondance, domestic shopping. Then...BANG! A storm hit us today that really scared me. I went outside and brought everything in that I didn't want to blow away. I cleared out all of the junk from the pantry floor and got in just to make sure I fit. Sure nuff, the weatherman said I should get in there! So I did! I worried about the yard, the roof and trees.

After the sirens stopped and the wind ceased, I came out. I approached the back door tenderly and found that all was well. In my hurried moments of preparring for a storm, I thought, "Why were all those thing not already taken care of? Why hadn't I already put things away that didn't belong outside in the first place?

Why are there things in my life that are 'out there'. That should be 'in'? Why do I wait till there is a crisis to protect and organize my life?

Double-Down

Today I was driving along like a normal human being when I saw a billboard advertising this little snack. It's just a snack that KFC is so pleased to bring us. We all need to eat, right? So why not eat this meaty and scrumptous ....um...thingy. It's two deep fried chicken breasts instead of bread surrounding cheese, bacon and some sauce I can't identify...and numerous other ingredients that aren't revealed I'm sure!!!!!!

Okay! So I'm displeased! Why is anyone offering this horible abomination? Do they not listen to health reports? Do they not care about people who are forced to purchase their dinner from fast food restaurants? If I were suicidal...I just might get in my car and drive 3 miles for this meal!!! What in heavens name are they thinking??? just take a good long look at this product and tell me you're not disgusted!! Go ahead...tell me!

The End is Near!!!

Thank heavens...thanks goodness it's almost over. The end of Lent is near and Easter and the promise of our salvation from ourselves is near. I'm tired. I'm done. I'm ready for this moment of forgiveness...of self realization and renewal. Every year Lent nearly does me in. Remember that I'm Lutheran at heart and teter on the Martin way of self examination. Is this horrible? Is this detrimental? Perhaps. But I know that as I make this journey, I'm truly doing the work to learn, to become and to be the servant and loving person God designed me to be. As we experience Holy Week we journey with all Christians in the way of joy and discovery in this moment of amazement and celebration in the moment of realization of love for all people. Christ only wants us to love and embrace each other. Join with me as we wait for a renewed love for all people in servanthood and respect.

Spring Plantings

I've just planted my spring garden. I got dirty with stuff under my nails and everything...wonderful! I'm looking at those little seedlings and thinking, "when will you produce?! When will I see the fruits of my labor." I think of the tilling, the sweat, the wishing and dreaming of what I might 'get' from this gardening action. How can I not compare this planting to the work done in relationships, in meeting new people and the simple act of investing in just living.

During this season of Lent so much work is done to grow and become...will I see a result? Will I 'be' something new after all this work? Or will I just be the same as before...dormant and deaf? After I plant something I find myself checking on the plants every morning. I actually speak to the plants and think silently..."are you happy and content? Do you have enough water, sun and nutrients?" Why wouldn't I wonder the same about myself? Do I have enough strength, study and umph to continue to grow and actually produce? I must remember to love, condition and listen (as I think my plants do) so I may grow and be fruitful for those around me.

Growth Spurts Hurt!

Do you remember when you were about 12 to 16 years old and an adult who hadn't seen you in a while would say, "You're growing like a weed!" I remember thinking that I didn't feel like I had changed all that much but realized, I saw myself every day and wouldn't notice any big changes in my appearance. All youth experience growth spurts where it seems like their stomachs are bottomless pits and they experience actual pain as their bones elongate and their bodies stretch into more adult-like beings. In addition to the physical changes there are the emotional changes. To one degree or another there is teenage angst! The figuring out...The wondering why...the fighting rage against authority as we find our independance. It's a huge transformation at that time in everyone life...we've all experienced it.

Today is Fat Tuesday or as I'm already aware, the day before Ash Wednesday. Tomorrow is the day that begins our 40 days of painful growth. It's strange to imagine that any season of the church year should or could be painful and I'm certainly not advocating that we dread this time. My thoughts lean more toward honest reflection and thorough examination as we prepare for the celebration of Easter. My challenge each year is to find the exercise which will bring me the most awareness of God...will help me best hear God speaking to me about God's love for me and which direction I should face when thinking about personal growth and closeness to God and the resulting love I can exhibit to those who are hurting or are in need. It may be through an organized Lenten study. It could be through quiet reflection each day with journaling. It could be experienced in a dedicated time of silence and meditation in which we listen intently to the inner voice through which God speaks.

The painful part is the intense act of facing myself and bringing forth those parts of me with which I am dissatified. The parts of me that worry, distrust, seek to control and are selfish. I know when I'm on the other side of this Lenten journey I will have experienced a growth spurt. If we fully participate in this preparation we will have grown and could possibly suprise ourselves in our outcome. We could look into the mirror and exclaim, "Wow, You've grown like a weed!"

My challenge today is that we all decide to engage and participate in this opportunity to discover, grow and become as we prepare for the season of Easter.

Snapshots

I have a collection of negatives of photos from my mother's childhood. This one is my mom, her brother and my grandmother. I look through these negatives and have had some developed and love looking at them. I love to study them and imagine what they were thinking. Imagine what their lives were like then. Since I wasn't there I can only fill in the blanks as I listen to stories and attempt to put the whole story together. There are favorite stories that are told over and over. I have favorites like why all the Christmas photos are taken on the front porch complete with the Christmas tree having been dragged onto the porch with all the gifts...no flash on the camera. Another favorite is why in the world my mother and uncle would spend hours in the cow trough braving yellow jackets and thirsty cows...just to stay cool in the brutal summer months of Texas. Even with all the family stories and photos, I still only have a part of the story.
This Christmas I'm listening intently to the stories of Christ and wonder again...what don't we know? When I read scripture and study what it could mean for my life I keep in mind that I only have a snapshot of the whole picture. I can't possibly walk around saying that I know everything God's intends while I only have a little bit of it in front me. It's natural for me to look at the negatives in my collection and try to fill in with own thoughts. But they are only guesses. It's the same with scripture...we cannot put our own words and beliefs into the story just because it sounds nice. I would even go so far as to say that there are many of us who look at those moments in time and make them into something they are not. In the photo above it looks like a nice moment of a happy mom with her two children just standing in the yard. But what about grandma's thoughts. Is she thinking about the fence that still needs to be mended or about the watermelon crop that didn't make?
My revelation today is that I must not always take scripture at face value. We must allow for possibilities that are bigger than our brains as we study scripture learn what they mean for us individually.

What are you waiting for?

Just now I realized I had been sitting at my desk without one single stretch for 2 and a half hours and decided to get up for some coffee and a little break. I walked into the sanctuary just to think a bit and was glad to see the lights were off...well I thought they were off. As I passed through the doors I saw that the Christmas trees and the garland hanging from the balconey were lit. I was immediate drawn in and walked over to admire one of the trees. At first I stood back to see the whole tree. Then I walked closer too se the stiching on the ornaments. Then for no reason at all I put my face right next to the tree. Actually, I put my face IN the tree. The only thing in my vision was light, garland and symbols of Christ. I was immediately immersed in the hope and forward looking that the Advent season brings. We wait. We prepare. We imagine the peace that the love of Christ brings. We are many times distracted during this season as we prepare for guests, buy gifts for those we love and work in a frenzy to get everything done "on time". Take a moment to stick your face into something that blocks all that out. Take a moment to think of what you're waiting for means to you.