Easter High!

My main goal this week has been to do whatever it takes to prolong the high I felt on Easter morning. It was the culmination of a very emotional Holy Week all of which provided for me the entire journey of Christ's love and sacrifice for us. This week, the flowers have been brighter, the sun more sun-shinier and the voices of those around me have a certain richness to them. The experience of Easter morning worship is the ultimate renewal...way more meaningful than the marking of the new year and all the promises we make during that time. The real newness comes when we are smack dab in the middle of a celebration that throws joy in your face and demands you pay attention to the love and grace God has for us.
Of course for me the best way to keep this reality in my face is to be outdoors and be 'in' God's creation...remembering again that I am a creation of God just like these amazing tulips. They are glorious aren't they? And we are glorious in God's sight.

Feeling Blue!

When the dark days come, we need to remember that even if a secret sabotuer - depression - is at work temporarily derailing our progress (or so it seems), each day offers us a gift if we will only look for it. Sometimes we're sad for a very apparent reason - a overwhelming loss, for example, or worries over money or health. Other time we don't know why we feel so bad, which makes us feel even worse. It could be for a million different reasons - an appalling lack of appreciation (by ourselves and by others), exhaustion, the weather, hormones, the advent of the flu, or simply part of the process of personal transformation. It's on days like these that you can barely get yourself dressed and out the door. You look like hell and couldn't care less. You can't remember if you took a shower yesterday or when the last time was you washed your hair. Life seems bleak, not bright with promise. It's taking more work than you expected to discover who you really are, and now you're no longer sure you even want to find out.
What should you do? You have two choices: One is simply to give in, stop resisting. You've got the blues, so sing them baby! But before you do ask for grace. Then have a good cry. Use an entire box of Puffs and make an impressive pile of them on the coffee table as you use them up.
The alternative is to shift gears. Ask for grace. Put the kettle on for a nice cup of tea. Eat some comfort food...you need the happy inducing serotonin kick. But don't eat it in front of the fridge. Sit down and savor your treat. Wash your face, put on lip gloss and your newest jammies. Brush your teeth, turn out the light, thank God for the day and go to sleep.
Whichever route you take, the day will be over within 24 hours and you might feel better. If you don't feel better, love yourself enough to call for help. Get your doctor on the phone and talk and take action.

My Rating as a Wife!

Earlier this week, my very clever husband thought it would be amusing to inform me that this week he is holding my review and will be assessing my performance as the wife. Wow! ...this could go very badly! I haven't even been trying to impress him all that much and I'm just not sure I'm ready for this review. I mean, give a sister some notice!
So to continue with this fun little excercise I ask Alvaro at the end of each day how I'm doing. He always says, "On a scale of 1 to 10...." and then he gives me the verdict for the day. One evening, I had achieved an 11 (I have no idea why...I was just sitting on the couch doing my cross stitch drinking some tea in my pj's...apparently this gains huge pointage!) Then another day, he announced that I had dipped to a staggering 4.5! What?!? What brought this on you ask? I guess it was because I was stepping on the back of his flip flop with each step he took...yeah I guess that is pretty annoying so I'll accept the 4.5
But the thing is it didn't take long at all for me to shoot right back up to 9 or a 10. Either he has a major issue with short term memory or he just doesn't hold on to grievances. In all seriousness, I can't remember a time when he ever really remembered a slight I caused or a hurt I imposed.
Just today (four days into this fake and funny review process) I was completely struck by how it is the perfect picture of how I always experience God's love and acceptance. I believe that God wastes no time at all in telling me when I've not lived up to my potential of being a caring and loving person. But then it's over and I feel the complete and non-judgemental love that I always felt. There is no list of grievances stacking up against me. This is where my freedom lies. In being a cherished child of God.